Page 18 of Killer of the Bells
Why was it so fucking difficult to get my shit together after meeting Echo? I wanted people to hurt. I wanted people to bleed.
It was the bells’ influence. It had to be.
I wanted to smash Apple’s stupid, smiling face until he stopped being so ridiculously pretty.
I could have done it. Gareth would consider our kill-switch clause activated and give me what I’d been asking him for since we’d left that stupid base together all those years ago. But if I’dmassacred Haruka’s troops and killed Apple, Adam would be upset, and I didn’t want that.
It’s impossible for me to hate Adam. He’s beyond unflappable. I’ve seen him be on fire and simply pat it out while continuing on with what he was doing.
With Apple around, his chill is infinite. Nothing bothers him. Not even me on my worst days. He’ll sit and let me rant and complain until I run out of steam, and he’ll listen to it all without interrupting. When I’m done, he just gives me a simple, “That’s rough, man.”
No judgment. No advice. Just understanding.
So, even if Adam’s choice of life partner is unimaginably idiotic, I still respect it. Especially since it improves the quality of his life so much. Who am I to begrudge such a gift?
Echo’s body was tense against mine, and I could tell he wanted to be done with the evening as much as I did, so I asked Gareth, “What else do you want to know?” to get the ball rolling once more.
“Did Lyle give him any clues about the cult while they were together the day he died? I see from their messages that he wasn’t forthcoming.”
I rolled my eyes. “He can understand you, Gareth. He only needs help communicating. From what I’ve pieced together, it helps to say as much as possible to give him something to work with.”
Echo nodded, avoiding my gaze. “Give me something to work with.”
I heard Gareth’s heart rate spike and then settle again. He was annoyed with the situation, but he had too much self-control to show it. His legendary self-control was one of the main reasons he was in charge. That and the fact that he was likely the only person on the planet who could take the chaos of our household and make it into something useful.
Gareth also cared. None of us did—with the exception of our newest addition, Paris. He cared, too, but I didn’t like him, so he didn’t count. As nice as he seemed, Apple didn’t care about anything but Adam, and Adam was the same, but about Apple. Baz only cared about Vix and creating chaos, while Vix only cared about Paris, Baz, making things, and getting fucked by Paris as often as possible.
I only cared about fixing what was done to me. It was impossible to care about anything when the call for blood sang so strongly throughout every fiber of my being.
You try living with a monster howling for blood inside you twenty-four hours a day and see how nice you are.
The monster was extra loud about wanting to hurt Apple as I held Echo in my arms. I wasn’t sure why I even bothered to be kind to Echo, but it was happening without me needing to force it, so I allowed it to continue.
I thought about what I’d gotten from the monster about Lyle’s memories when we drained him. It was chaotic, as most minds are as they die. If Echo could give me some key points, it might help me sort out what I’d seen. “When you were with Lyle, did he talk about any friends? Did he mention gatherings of any sort? Did he talk about rituals, or rant about any beliefs?”
Echo finally looked at me, nodding enthusiastically. “He ranted. So much ranting. He mentioned gatherings.”
“Did he mention where? Or any clues about where?”
Echo nodded.
“If I gave you a map, could you point to it?”
Echo furrowed his brow and tilted his head before holding out a hand and making a so-so motion.
“So, a maybe?” I pulled out my own phone and opened an app for maps, angling it so no one could see the lockscreen of Oda Nobunaga sleeping in a sunbeam.
Vix hacked my phone, I can’t change it, and I don’t want to talk about it any further.
“How do you get through life?” I asked, talking to myself more than Echo. He had no support system from what I’d managed to pluck from his mind. I saw glimpses of him staying up late and memorizing textbooks so he could say what needed to be said during his lectures.
He would have to be smart to memorize entire chapters verbatim.
“Life is stupid,” Echo said without the stress he’d shown before when forcing out words on his own. His eyes went wide, as if he’d surprised himself.
“I can’t argue with that,” I agreed. “It’s incredibly stupid.”
I handed him my phone. “This is the town. Zoom in or out as needed.”
