Page 85 of Payback
“JUST TELL ME WHERE HEwent,” I beg one last time, standing in the doorway of Roan’s house.
Mac narrows his green eyes at me, making me feel like an ant he wants to stomp all over. “How could you do it, Allie? You of all people?”
“It’s complicated,” I groan, raking my hands through my hair and pulling until it hurts.
What a fucking mess. Had I known what my father was going to do after hanging up the phone with me earlier this evening, I would have stopped him. I would have told him to walk Rosalie down the aisle. If he didn’t want to do it, I would have found a mad scientist to make a clone of my father for Rosalie to prevent this mess from occurring.
But Rose didn’t even give me a chance to change his mind. After Niall showed me the video on some horrible website, I pulled out my phone and saw the ominous text she sent me two hours earlier, confirming what she did.
Rose: Daddy backed out of the wedding. You are a selfish bitch.
By the time the media got a hold of the link and Niall was notified via an urgent text from the agency, the video was already up to twenty thousand views.Twenty thousand peoplesaw everything Roan and I did in that hotel room.
Fucking mortifying.
Next thing I knew, my cousins went tearing out of the ballroom after Roan while I was stuck with Niall and Vaughn, who were both working tirelessly to find someone to get the video taken down. It was uploaded on a foreign website that was difficult to trace.
It took Vi contacting a friend of hers she called Frank and Beans, who knew a hacker that could get into the site to remove the file. Within five minutes of the call, the video was gone, but the damage had been done.
I officially have a sex tape leaked of myself with an athlete and nothing would ever change that.
I didn’t have time to explain what happened to Vaughn or Niall before I asked Vi to give me the keys to her car. I needed to see Roan. I needed to make sure he was okay, that we were okay. I needed to explain that the video was a horrible mistake and that I was so utterly wrong and sorry.
So here I am now, getting mean looks from the friendliest Scotsman on the face of the earth.
“Mac, I would love to tell you why I did it, but I need to speak to Roan first. You really won’t tell me where he went?”
He shakes his head. “He’s one of the good ones, Allie. You really fucked-up.”
“I know!” I shriek, my emotions bubbling over as I turn and walk away, shaking my head and cursing my own stupid actions for the ten thousandth time. Tears stream down my cheeks as I drop onto their front steps and cry. I’m not crying for myself and my public humiliation. I’m crying over my betrayal against Roan that I will never be able to forgive myself for.
“I’m such an idiot, Mac. I was so lost when I made that video. So confused about who I was and what real love actually looked like. That heartbreak turned me into some horrible version of myself who I never even knew existed. But then I met Roan, and I fell in love with the person I became when I was with him. And I fell in love with him. I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling love like that after everything that happened.
“And I know I should have deleted the video two years ago. But every time I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to do it because I knew there was something special between us, even after our first night together. I couldn’t let that go until I realised I didn’t need the video. I just needed him.”
My breath catches in my throat as the sobs rack through my chest like a child trying to recover from a tantrum. I definitely feel like a child. This entire nightmare is the most immature, idiotic, stupid thing I have ever done, and I’ll never be able to take it back.
“Fucking hell,” I hear Mac growl as he steps outside of the house and moves down the steps to sit beside me. He pats me on the back awkwardly. “I can’t handle women crying. It’s a thing for me.”
I sniff and wipe away my tears. “I love him so much, Mac. I’ll never forgive myself for ruining everything.”
Mac gets a pained look in his eyes as he pulls his hand back and braces his arms on his knees. “Ruining everything is a grand statement to make, lass.”
“Well, it feels like everything is ruined.” I swallow the painful ache in my throat and turn to look him in the eyes. “I may not ever get Roan’s forgiveness, but I hope I can earn yours someday, Mac. You’re a great friend to Roan, and I’m sorry I’ve let you down.”
His eyes dance over my mess of a face for a moment before he releases a heavy sigh. He shifts to dig into his pocket and grabs a set of keys. He pulls one silver key off the ring and hands it over to me.
“What’s this?” I ask, my voice hollow.
He purses his lips and replies, “It’s a key to Tower Park. I’ll bet you anything he’s there. It’s where most of us go when we need to clear our heads.”
My eyes fly wide as I clutch the key in my hand.
He head nods toward Vi’s car. “Park at the northeast player’s entrance, then go in and hang a left. It’ll lead you out onto the pitch.”
I hug Mac with all the strength in my body. He feels like a giant boulder, but I’m still squeezing, even if it hurts. I pull back and offer him a shaky smile. “Thanks, Mac.”
He reaches out and wipes a tear from my eye. “Get the hell out of here before I start blubbering, too.”
