Page 31 of Road Queens
Cass grinned and ruffled her recently chopped and dyed hair, poison green this time. “You don’t have to worry about that anymore.”
“Yeah, no shit, but thanks for waiting years to take my advice. Anyway, our folks may have gotten to know each other when they were driving us around, but they haven’t had to schlep any of us in years. Shouldn’t they have outgrown each other by now?”
“Why?” Cass chased her last sweet potato fry with a gulp of Dew. “We haven’t outgrown each other. Why should they?”
“True,” Sidney said. “We’re all just as immature and dim as the day we met. And speaking of dim, my folks want both of you to come to supper tonight.”
“Yay! I haven’t had any of your folks’ cooking in forever.”
“You had dinner with us last week, Cass, you gaping dumbass.”
“Plus, watching your mom and dad cooking together is consistently entertaining. I’ll never understand how they can get in each other’s way and trip and stumble in that teeny kitchen while screaming and screaming at each other and then pop out of the kitchen with a gourmet meal. It’s goddamned necromancy.”
“Nobody understands. Don’t think about it too long or you’ll give yourself a headache. D’you know, people have been predicting their divorce for years? But they always make up, and I guess they love each other or whatever.”
“‘Or whatever,’ Sidney?” Amanda teased.
“Pretty sure they decided to stay together just to spite the other person. There’s a lot of ‘get out’ and ‘no,youget out.’ Plus, they hate paperwork. So I don’t see a divorce happening.”
“As long as they’re not breaking each other’s ribs or spraining each other’s wrists, they’re ahead of the game.”
Amanda sighed. “And now I’m once again forced to point out that your bar for marital bliss is pathologically low.”
“Only according to some.” Cassandra closed her eyes and hummed. “I still dream about Sidney’s dad’s osso buco and her mom’s hasselback sweet potatoes with that maple glaze that I would drink by the cup if I could.”
“I’m not sure I can come tonight,” Amanda said cautiously. “I’m looking at some commercial rentals.”
“Again? Did a relative die and leave you a pot of money?” Cass asked. “Last we talked, you still had to save up at least another ten grand.”
“I’m not ready to buy a place just now, but when that time comes, I don’t want to waste time on guesswork or redundant research. I’ll know what I want in terms of footage, location, access to parking, blah-blah. So I can’t make it this time,” she finished with real regret.
Sidney laughed. “Oysters. Paella. French silk pie.”
“I’ll reschedule.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Sidney: JFC I just sat across from Iris fucking Rivers and watched Cass lie to her face for HOURS mighty fuck I need a drink
Amanda: Who is this?
Sidney: KNOCK IT OFF!!!
Amanda: I haven’t seen Iris in a couple months; is she still lovely?
Sidney: Yeah and JFC focus bc Cass didn’t tell her anything!
Amanda: Did you think she would? “How’s prison life, Mom? Also, I’m a person of interest in a murder investigation and our hometown still hates me and there’s a cop sniffing up my backtrail but not to worry, how is your shiv collection coming along?”
Sidney: It’s not a prison apparently. And they’re not shivs they’re contraband makeshift knives or whatever the fuck
Amanda: We can talk about your loathing of euphemisms if you like but that would be an entirely different conversation. Also, punctuation is a thing. Just saying.
Sidney: ...
Amanda: Or we can stay on point: don’t you think Iris has enough to worry about? I wouldn’t have said anything, either.
Sidney: ...
