Page 106 of Heartland
Immediately, I feel sweaty. “You’re embarrassing me,” I say, because it’s the truth, even if it’s notallof the truth.
“Look, I get that this isn’t an easy topic for you. The Paradise Ranch is where sexual positivity goes to die. It took me years to get over my hang-ups. But I hope you know you can ask me about anything.”
“Uh, sure,” I say slowly. “I think I’m good.”But I’m probably going to burn in hell for lying to you.
“Chass, seriously. I hope you do meet someone nice. Maybe it will help you get over your raging crush on Dylan.”
Oh my God. “That will never happen,” I admit slowly. It’s another half-truth. “You should talk, though. You fell for Isaac when you were what, fifteen?”
“You’re right,” she says quietly. “But I was very lucky that he was all in—he didn’t make me pine for him. Some men are ready to meet their forever person when they’re young. And some just aren’t. You could be waiting around a long time for Dylan to grow up.”
Once again, she’s both wrong and very, very right. I have Dylan. And yet I really don’t.
“Hey, I didn’t call to make you feel bad.”
“You aren’t,” I say quickly. “Now tell me what’s up with you?”
“You know I did that interview for Wyoming Public Radio?”
“Uh-huh,” I say, even if I don’t exactly remember. Anytime Leah brings up Wyoming, I tune it out.
“Well, something amazing happened. I got the attention of a very well-off rancher who wants to help me fund my foundation. I think this could be big. She could move my plans forward in a big way.”
“That’s wild!” But I shouldn’t really be surprised. Nobody is more tenacious than Leah when she has a big idea. I’ve never seen anyone accomplish so much with so little. She was a runaway at seventeen, and has no education. But she never stops believing that big things are possible. This past summer her cheeses won an international competition. In France.
“I’m flying to Chicago this weekend to meet the rancher.”
“Chicago?”
“She’s there for a convention. You won’tbelievethis hotel where I’m supposed to have lunch. I’m busy having a fashion crisis right now.”
“I’ll bet.”
“Dream big, Chastity. Sometimes you get what you’ve asked for.”
“Mmm.” Does it make me shallow that I’m mostly dreaming of Dylan?
“The other thing I have to ask you is this—could I possibly buy five boxes of caramels?” Leah asks me. “I don’t want to screw up your count.”
“Sure. You can have them,” I tell her. As if I’d say no. My entire business relies on free time in her kitchen. “Are they for the fancy rancher lady?”
“One of them is. I hope you don’t mind if I also send a box to your mother.”
My heart skips a beat. “Why?” I haven’t seen or spoken to my mother in two years. She failed me when I needed her most. About a month before I left Wyoming, I made the mistake of telling her that I would run away if my stepdad tried to marry me off.
You ungrateful bitch, she’d said. And then she’d slapped me across the face.
When it came time to leave, I didn’t bother saying goodbye.
“I thought she might want to know that you’re still alive and doing okay. It would come from me and not you.”
“Oh,Leah,” the words come out in a rush. “I don’t know. Someone will see.” It unnerves me to think that my family would know where I am. Myformerfamily, that is. I used to have nightmares about getting dragged from my new bed at Leah’s house and hauled back to the Paradise Ranch by my stepdad.
“I don’t have to do it,” she says. “But think it over.”
“Okay,” I say just as someone knocks on the outer door.
“It would be a nice gesture,” Leah presses.
