Page 32 of Bountiful
The sight of my daughter’s face relaxed me. The tension I’d been carrying in my shoulders fell away as I walked across the room to kiss her on the top of the head. She lifted chubby arms to me, and I glanced at my mother. “Did she eatenough?”
“This one always does,” Mom saidcheerily.
I tucked my hands under Nicole’s arms and pulled her up to hug her. Since it was summertime, bare toes wiggled happily against my waist. “Hi, lady,” I whispered. “Did you take a good nap forGrandma?”
“Goodish,” my mother said. “Forty-fiveminutes.”
“Ah, well.” She’d be grumpy later, but then pass out promptly at bedtime. “Thank you,” I said to my mom. “You were a lifesavertoday.”
“Stressful day?” sheasked.
“Yeah.”You have no idea. But Mom was referring to the fact that The Busy Bean had lost electrical power that morning. Audrey and I had spent the day worrying about our refrigerated goods and leaning on friends for help. The problem hadn’t been resolved until anhourago.
Silly me, I’d thought a power outage would be the most stressful thing that could have happened today. Then Daveshowedup.
I felt like a jerk for not telling Mom about Dave’s sudden reappearance. The card he’d given me was burning a hole in my pocket. But I wasn’t ready to talk about it. I’d just given that man the shock of a lifetime, after he’d given me the same by walking into mycoffeeshop.
We were both allowed some kind of cooling-off period,right?
The fact that Dave had brought up a lawyer right away chilled me. I’d almost bit the guy’s head off. But people don’t always say the right thing when they’re in shock. I was going to keep telling myself that.Please don’t be a dickhead, I privately begged.And if you are, it had better not begenetic.
My mother was wiping up bits of Nicole’s dinner from the table. “I’ll get the floor,” I said quickly. After each of Nicole’s meals, my kitchen looked as if a small food grenade had gone off in the proximity of her seat at thetable.
“I got it,” Mom said, bending to swipe a wet paper towel across the wood floor. Mom had raised five children, mostly as a single mother. And now she put in more than twenty hours a week babysittingNicole.
“Thank you,” I said with a sigh. I was looking forward to the day when my family would no longer have to do so much for me. I owed Benito for letting me live here until now. I owed Alec for renting me The Busy Bean at a below-market rate, and I owed Alec and Mom for many hours of free babysittingeveryweek.
I was tired of owing my family. But I’d rather owe them forever than lawyer up and chase down Mr. David Beringer (spelled with an “e,” damn it!) for childsupport.
“Zara,” my mother said gently. “Is everything allright?”
I chased the scowl off my face. “Longday.”
“If you need more time, Icould…”
“Nope, I’m good. Thanks for your help.” I bounced Nicole on my hip. One of her little hands was feeling up my left boob already. My baby wanted to nurse. I carried her over to Benito’s L-shaped sofa and sat down in our favoritecorner.
“All right,” Mom said, grabbing her purse off the counter top. “Then I’m going to get to the post office before itcloses.”
“Bye, Mom. Say, ‘Bye, Grandma!’” I prodded Nicole, hoping she’d give us a wordatlast.
Instead she grabbed at my shirt, on a mission fortheboob.
My mother smiled at us and took herleave.
I tugged up my shirt and unclipped the cup of my nursing bra. “Have at it,champ.”
Nicole grabbed my boob in two hands and clamped herself on, her little mouth working immediately. Her eyes closed, and she leaned her soft cheek againstmyarm.
With wonder in my heart, I stared down at my baby girl. She drank milk out of a sippy cup now. Nursing wasn’t necessary anymore, really. But I wasn’t ready to give it up yet. In the early days, when I’d been so scared and tired and sure that I’d stink at motherhood, nursing was the thing that always made me feel calm. My child took daily sustenance from my body. And with the milk I gave her, she grew like crazy. And when she fussed, I’d bring her to my breast, and everything wouldbeokay.
It still was, too.Nothing has changed, I reminded myself. It was still Nicole and me (and a half-dozen family members) against the world. Even if I never saw Dave again, we werestillokay.
ChapterEleven
Dave
“Beri.”
