Page 17 of Man Cuffed
“Hypothetically, no,” I grumble. “She’s staying in the guest room. We only share a bed when we’re gettin’ it on.”
“What?” he gasps. “You made that girl sleep in the other room? For this long?”
“That’s not weird,” I say. “We’re not playing house.”
“Dude.” He shakes his big silly head. “That is super weird. But it doesn’t matter. In the next chapter, you’ll realize you’re fooling yourself. It will happen any second now. Maybe when you’re trapped in an elevator together. Or it might happen when she defends you from your crazy ex.”
“I don’t have a crazy ex,” I say pointlessly.
“Um, yes you do.” He gives me a pitying glance. “Anyway. It might happen when you rescue her from a warehouse fire, or from the alpha dog of a neighboring wolf pack…”
I groan. His taste in genre fiction is far-ranging. “If she was a shapeshifter, I would already know at this point.”
“That’s what you think. Have you ever been together during a full moon?”
This is what I have to deal with on a daily basis.
“Either way,” he says. “One day soon you’ll look at her and it will all fall into place.”
“Nope. Sorry.” I’m not fooling myself at all. Nicole is not my girlfriend, even though her two-night stay has turned into a couple of weeks. But it hasn’t made me have any Big Realizations. It’s only made me itchy. “She’s very fond of my handcuffs, though. Honestly, my whole life is a cliché.”
“Clichés are not all bad,” Lance says. “I could use me some heaving bosoms right now. They’d be more fun than your grumpy ass.”
He’s right. My ass is grumpy, because I’m living with someone I don’t really love. I need to break it off with her, which is a shame because I still need a date for my sister’s wedding.
But I can’t. I realize that now. It would send the wrong signal to Nicole.
I can feel my anxiety start to ratchet up. I need a good workout. Or a good fuck. And not with Nicole. Somehow, when I’m with her, it’s sorta like being alone. We aren’t connecting at all, except, obviously, in the physical way. Truth is, I need my space back.
Maybe I just need out of this damn squad car.
If I get the promotion I want, I wouldn’t have to do stakeouts anymore. In fact, it might change the entire trajectory of my life.
“Hey, I have a question for you,” I say to Lance.
“And I have an answer! It’s true. Icanactually fuck a woman three different ways AT THE SAME TIME. This is why you need to stop reading that dipshit Whatshisname, and start reading some real books. You’ll actually learn something.”
There’s a lot to unpack there.
The “dipshit” he’s referring to is Hemingway. I read Hemingway. I read classics in general. Actually, I read something from the canon, and then I read something from the NY Times Bestseller list. It’s all about balance.
“That was not my question,” I say, though I’ve almost forgotten what my question is. “Why do you think they keep passing me over for the taskforce promotion?”
I assume Lance will mull that one over. Chew on it a little bit. But nope. Big nope. “You’re Mr. Closed-Off. You’re too abrupt. You have the social intelligence of a cardboard box. You don’t think inside the box...you sit in a box, then draw a box around yourself then you think inside THAT.”
Huh.
“But none of that matters. I’m a cop. Cops report facts. I do it well.”
Lance shakes his head. “You are a terrific cop. But if you believe that’s the only thing that matters, you’re super gullible. And I bet you believe them when they sayOh, I totally came!” Lance makes his voice go all feminine like and then he starts laughing.
Me? Too abrupt for a promotion? Thinking inside the box? That is a lot of bullshit. Andthey totally came. I’d know.
Although…one hookup complained that I wasn’t “emotionally available.” I told her all my emotions were located in my dick and if she sat on it, she’d know everything she needed to know about me.
For the record, I was joking.
A cop does not need to be emotionally available. I don’t know what the hell Lance is talking about.
