Page 46 of Lies and Lullabies
“Ah,” he said. “I’m not sure that works too well. But we all try, anyway.”
I took a sip of my beer. The bottle was sweating in the warm summertime air. And even if my thoughts were in turmoil, the silence between us felt more comfortable now.
“I lost my parents when I was seven,” Jonas said suddenly.
“That’s young.” I’d read all about it on his Wikipedia entry. “It was a car wreck, right?” I’d often wondered if that was what he’d been talking about when he told me that the squeal of brakes frightened him.
“Yeah. A horrible thing. We were at a music festival, and I was standing in line for ice cream while they waited nearby. So I saw it happen.” He looked away. “It was bad enough losing them. But what happened afterwards was bad, too. I went to an aunt who had three kids of her own. She didn’t want another one.”
“Oh.” That wasn’t the sort of thing that showed up on Wikipedia. “I’m so sorry.”
“I just… I don’t want to sound morbid. But if I have a child on this earth, I’m going to make myself available, okay? I don’t know if I’ll be any good at being somebody’s dad. But I couldn’t stand for Vivi to think her father didn’t care to try.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
He dropped his voice. “You trusted me once before, Kira. You’re going to have to trust me again.”
“I know,” I choked out. I was scared, and the future felt so uncertain. And it was humbling to finally face up to all my secrets. But Jonas was so beautiful in the candlelight, and I didn’t want to look away.
“What’s the matter?” He covered my hand again and squeezed.
I shook my head to try to clear it. “I just don’t know what happens next.”
“Of course you do, sweetness. That’s easy. We drink a couple of beers, and then I walk you home.” He leaned back in his chair and smiled at me.
Wow. That smile. I’d missed it so much.
He made it sound so simple. But it wasn’t simple at all. My heart was fit to burst. “It’s weird to be here with you again.”
“It’s not weird, Kira,” he said, quietly. “It’s fucking awesome.”
And my poor little pounding heart agreed with him.
Ten
Kira
On the trip back to Boston the next morning, I let Adam drive. After twenty minutes, I turned around to peek at Vivi. My daughter had fallen asleep, Purple Kitty tucked onto her shoulder and under her resting chin.
Purple Kitty used to be all we had of Jonas. But now he was on his purple bus somewhere, headed to Canada, with my number in his phone. As if that weren’t weird enough, he was coming to Boston in just over a week.
I felt a nervous rush just imagining it.
“Adam,” I whispered to my brother. “We have to talk.”
“Yup.” He sighed. “You first.”
“Hush Note is playing at the waterfront in a week, and Jonas invited all of us to go. Can you come too?”
“Hmm. I hope so.”
“Do you have a better offer?”
He shook his head. And that’s when I noticed how grim he looked.
“Hey, is something wrong?”
“Is Vivi asleep?”
