Page 65 of Lies and Lullabies
She shrugged. “I seem to be on the ten-year plan at school. But every mom of little kids does some juggling. I’ve learned that it’s never easy. I’m just one of the ranks.”
“But I know it’s held you back. You can’t tell me that you didn’t sacrifice a lot to have her.”
“Sure. But I get back a lot, too. It sounds counterintuitive, but being a single mom proved to me that I was tougher than I thought. Taking college courses with peanut butter on my T-shirt… It’s not the end of the world. Even without a child, I wasn’t destined to be much of a party girl.”
“Money must be tight.” It was a topic that needed to be discussed eventually.
“We get by okay,” she said quickly. “There are single moms at Vivi’s daycare who don’t have enough money to buy their kids an ice cream cone. Honestly, Adam has sacrificed more than I have. Both time and money.”
Interesting. “He seems really involved.”
“You have no idea. He’s supported us for four years, although he doesn’t like to hear me put it like that. We live with him, and I pay no rent. Whenever I talk about maybe working full time instead of chipping my way toward graduation, he talks me out of it. He says, ‘We’re doing fine. We don’t need the money, and you need the degree.’ Adam has a good job at a great law firm, so he’s not lying about the money. But he doesn’t have much of a life.”
“Why?”
She was quiet for a moment before answering. “I take classes at night, or work as a teaching assistant at the university. So he’s home babysitting. He hasn’t had a boyfriend since Vivi was born, because he won’t bring guys into the house.”
“How come?”
“Well… he’s funny that way. He’s totally out of the closet, of course. But my father has always told him that it’s unnatural and has said some things about how wrong it is to raise a child in a gay household. He said, ‘At least Kira didn’t have a littleboy.’ I get mad just thinking about it. But it’s as if a little part of Adam believes him.”
I whistled. “This is your father who calls his son unnatural and his daughter a slut? And Adam listens?”
“I know it doesn’t make sense. But he’s our dad. He’s gruff and ornery even when he’s trying to be nice. We try not to hear the worst of it, but it’s hard.”
“You know what, Kira? I just spent the last week asking myself if I’m fit to be somebody’s dad. But I can sure as hell do better than that.” I plucked Kira’s ankles off the sofa, pulling her feet into my lap. “Are you okay? You look tired.”
“I am tired,” she agreed. “I didn’t sleep all that well this week.”
“And then I dragged you out to a mediocre concert.”
She sipped her beer, her big eyes studying me. “The concert was amazing, Jonas. But I don’t know why you’re fishing for compliments. You already have the world’s approval.”
“Maybe yours matters the most.”
She stared at me like I wasn’t making sense. “I loved the concert. Do you need a sticker for your sticker chart?”
A bark of laughter escaped me. “Maybe I do.” She smiled at me, then, and it made me foolishly happy. I put my hands on the arches of her bare feet and squeezed. God, I wanted to touch her. Hold her. I wanted all the things.
And I only had a few more hours in her presence.
I put a hand on her bare leg, skimming two fingers from her ankle to her calf. Kira’s eyes snapped downward, watching me. “Look,” I whispered. “It’s only fair to tell you that I want to spend time with you. Not just for Vivi’s sake.” I gave her knee a light caress.
Kira’s eyes were still locked on my hand where it touched her. “Why?”
“What do you mean,why?Because I miss you like crazy. And I always have.”
Kira let out a shaky breath and shook her head. “You can’t say things like that to me.”
“Why not? It’s true.” I gently shifted her feet to the floor and slid across the sofa until we were hip to hip. I wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close to me.Finally. “That’s better. I’ve been wanting to hold you for, oh, about a million years.”
Kira shivered, so I did what came naturally. I turned my head, brushing a kiss across her temple. It was barely a kiss, more like a warm breeze on a summer night. Still, I felt her shiver again. I threw caution to the wind and went for it, turning to find her mouth with mine.
And it was just like that day on the dock. Our mouths came together like this was meant to happen. Like we had no other choice. Warm, soft lips parted for mine.
The kiss was as soft as I could manage. But I needed her so badly that I was lucky to keep it on the right side of civilized. It didn’t help that her soft hair caressed my shoulders, making me too aware of my bare skin. Making me feel crazy. On a groan, I slanted my mouth across hers, deepening the kiss. And when she let me taste her, it was glorious.
She wasmeantto be mine. Nothing would ever convince me otherwise. Pulling her body flush against my own, I kissed her long and hard. The next few minutes were the sweetest victory I’d ever tasted.
