Page 66 of Lies and Lullabies
“Wait,” she gasped suddenly, pushing on my shoulders.
Five years later, the word still penetrated my lusty haze. I pulled back, breathing like a sprinter after the hundred-meter dash.
“You don’t get to toy with me like this,” she said, leaning away from me. “‘Poor little lonely Kira. We had a hot night once. And she wanted more, but I blew her off. But, hey! We’re in the same zip code for a night, so let’s get it on.’”
My head swam as I tried to follow this sudden transition. “It’s not like that.”
“I think it is.”
“Never,” I breathed. “You mean more to me than anyone else ever will.”
“How can you say that?” she yelped. “You didn’t sing that tune when you had the chance!” She slid off the couch, scrambling to her feet. I saw a sheen of tears in her eyes as she turned away.
“Kira,” I ground out.
But it was too late. She slipped into the darkened double bedroom and closed the door with a firm click.
I sat there for a minute, trying to calm my pounding heart. I’d fucked upagain. Kissing her had been so very stupid.Way to be trustworthy, asshole. It’s just that I wanted Kira to know how I really felt. And even though I’d won a Grammy for writing songs about heartbreak, this time I hadn’t used my words.
Yup. I blew it.
I blew out a frustrated breath, stood up, and adjusted my jeans. Heading into my room, I went into the marble bath to brush my teeth.
Steady, I told my reflection. This wasn’t over. In fact, it was just beginning. Tomorrow, before my tour bus left, I would figure out my next chance to see Kira and Vivi. And I wouldn’t fuck it up again.
Kira deserved patience. It had been patience that had given me our magical night together. And it had given me Vivi.
I’d been waiting five years. I could wait five more if I had to.
Back in my bedroom, I stripped off my jeans, tossing them onto a chair. I got into bed in the nude. Sliding across the expanse of the king-sized bed, my erection brushed against the cool, high-thread-count hotel sheets.
Heated kisses—and memories—had me all fired up and ready to go. There were, of course, dozens of women at that show tonight who would have happily solved this problem for me. But I didn’t want any of those women. I wanted Kira. Alone in the giant bed, I flexed my hips a single time to acknowledge the yearning. Wanting her felt right and necessary.
I jammed the pillow into the hollow of my neck and made myself as comfortable as I could. Patience would be me new mantra. It would have to be.
Sixteen
Kira
In the silent, darkened room, I perched on the edge of the empty bed, trying to figure out what had just happened. Not that it was tricky.
I panicked. And then I blamed it on Jonas.
So I made everything awkward. Yay.
There were plenty of good reasons not to make out with Jonas on the sofa. He and I were in the midst of legally negotiating his relationship with Vivi. That was no simple matter. I needed to keep a clear head.
But who was I kidding? There was no keeping a clear head when he was around. Every encounter with him since the first one had left me quivering with desire and uncertainty. Why would tonight be any different?
I liked to think that I’d changed since that summer when we met. I was more confident now. I’d come a long way from that tentative girl who needed a man to walk her home every night. I was close to finishing my college degree. I held down a job. I was a terrific cook and a single mom.
There was one big gap in my confidence, however, and that gap was sex. Physical intimacy was still mysterious to me.
When Jonas kissed me, my response had been so swift and thrilling that I freaked right out. Not like before—I wasn’t afraid for my safety tonight. But boy, had I been overwhelmed.
And now I was just embarrassed.
I pulled out my phone to check the time. It was ten thirty. I was too wired to go to sleep yet, so I texted my brother.Was it a good party?
