Page 37 of Dying to Meet You
Mom didn’t mention him again, but Natalie could tell she wasn’t over it. Her mom started using that FriendFinder app in an unhealthy way—watching Tim live his bougie life, ordering oysters at Eventide or whatever.
Her mom thinks Natalie doesn’t know how often she opens that app. That’s why Natalie sometimes leaves her phone at Tessa’s when they go out.
Except now they’re here together at Tim’sfuneral, and Natalie is all mixed-up inside. She knows that she had a small part in the way things ended for them, but God, he wasn’t supposed todie.
It’s not her fault, though. It’s really not.
A wasplike buzz emanates from her crossbody bag, sending a zing up her spine. A new message on her phone. Possibly fromhim. Her other secret.
There are different kinds of secrets. There are the kind that hurt like a hole in your stomach. Tim was one of those. But there are also secrets that sparkle.
Her fingers itch to unzip the bag and peer at her phone. But no way. Not at a funeral, and not with her mother sitting pressed up against her on the bench.
It can wait. Itshouldwait. Even when she reads his messages immediately, she makes herself wait to answer them. She needs to play it cool.
There’s someone new at the podium now—a friend of Tim’s. He’s telling stories from their childhood. “Tim was a nerd, but a nerd who still liked to get into trouble. He had a deeply curious mind, and he used it to prank the teachers at our middle school.”
There’s a misty chuckle.
“One time he noticed that our science teacher often stared into a desk drawer during class. Tim decided that the teacher didn’t really know anything about science, and he was hiding his lecture notes in there so nobody would be the wiser.”
The crowd chuckles again, including Natalie, who’s mostly just relieved that he’s trying to be funny.
“So Tim planned a sting operation. We hung back in the classroom when the teacher stepped out at lunchtime. That drawer was unlocked, and we opened it. But there were no notes inside. Instead, we found our very firstPlayboymagazine.”
There’s a sudden burst of loud laughter. Like a thunderclap.
“We learned someveryexciting science that day.”
The room practically shakes.
“But, wait, there’s more. The teacher came back into the room when we were still there, paging through the magazine. We got caught red-handed.”
“Oh jeez,” Natalie whispers, and her mother gives her a gentle smile.
“I was about to pee myself. I was picturing the phone call home to my mother. ‘Your son read a dirty magazine.’ But Tim coolly handed it over, saying that he didn’t suppose the teacher wanted to take this up with the principal, did he?”
More laughter.
But, see? Natalie privately scoffs. Tim was a slippery fuck. Who blackmails their middle school teacher?
“This is probably the first time Tim’s parents are hearing this story. The teacher did the smart thing and let us off the hook. And he never looked into that drawer again. So that’s my experience of being friends with Tim—he was thoughtful, and yet always pushed the limit. I will miss him for the rest of my life.”
Natalie’s mom makes a sad face.
This is the weirdest mother-daughter outing ever.
The service closes with another song. The hot guy with the guitar begins strumming gently, and the tune turns into “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong.
Natalie is fine until he starts singing about green trees and roses. He has a good voice, and she can feel it resonate behind her breastbone. Sadness starts to creep through her chest, making her eyes hot.
The pallbearers line up beside the coffin. There are about a million roses on top. The men bend down and slowly lift it onto their shoulders. With grief on their faces, they carry it out the side door.
Tim departs from his funeral, feet-first. Everyone in the room is openly weeping. Natalie is not made of stone. Tim was only a little older than her mom.
And maybe he reallywasonly looking at their selfies on her mom’s phone. Maybe.
The singer really rocks the chorus. And when he gets to that line about babies crying, Natalie’s throat closes up, and she has to concentrate really hard on not crying.
