Page 74 of Lovebug
A light bulb goes on, and I do what I have to do.
I take my cue from the female dragonfly.
And I decide to die.
“Cuppy cuppy, my little hush puppy!” he says as he juts his hips up in my direction.
This is clearly my call to action. But instead of scooping my hands together and cradling his, um, his… wolf globes like I always do, I stand on the mattress, go ramrod straight in my spine, my arms, and my legs, and…
… I dive face-first into the mattress.
My body absorbs the fall with a few residual bounces—the mattresses at Quality Inn are surprisingly springy—until I’m silent and still.
“Mabel?” I hear him say after a stunned moment. “What the hell wasthat?”
I don’t move a muscle or make a sound. I’m face-down on the mattress, as still and as silent as can be.
“What are you doing?”
Nothing.
“Mabey baby?”
Silence.
“Mabel?”
He pokes me.
Shakes me.
Slaps me on the butt.
I’m completely frozen.
He rolls me over now.
I keep my face soft and expressionless.
“Mabel!”
He pats my cheeks.
“What the hell happened?” He pants. “Are you breathing? Oh my God, she’s not breathing.”
Clearly, he’s starting to panic.
Suddenly, he suctions his lips to mine, and I realize he’s giving me mouth to mouth.
With tongue.
He follows it up with some fumbling pumps to my breasts.
Wow, this is more focused physical attention than I’ve ever received from him.
I’m fairly certain this is not how CPR is done, of course, but I’m not at liberty to tell him that—not if I want to keep up this ruse. It also takes some intense focus on my part to avoid gagging while this is happening, not because I find Bert heinous—I still love the guy—but housing a swirling, uninvited tongue inside your lifeless mouth is a challenge I hadn’t anticipated.
In truth, I hadn’t anticipated any of this. I suppose it’s noble that he’s trying to save my life, but the male dragonfly is just supposed to fly off when he realizes he’s chosen the wrong mate, thus allowing the female to go on her merry way—a free woman—without ever having to hurt the male’s delicate sensibilities.
