Page 10 of Dating A Fae
“I’m sorry, is this okay?”
“Absolutely.” I’m almost able to breathe without my lungs screaming. “Okay.” I slap my thigh. “I’m good now. What’cha wanna look at?”
“I love stories from the Faelands. Do you have any authors you like?”
Be still my heart. Why is he perfect for me? “I have a few.”
I guide him to the books by fae authors. After selecting a few books, we sit at a table and chat for hours about the true versions of fairytales and the ones humans created.
I finally get him to move to a pair of chairs by a fireplace roaring with magic purple fire. The librarians on hand today must really like the color.
Johnny reads me book passages out loud. His voice is perfect for narration. I could stay in his orbit for eternity.
“Have you been to the Faelands?” I ask after a particularly nostalgic piece of description.
Johnny shuts the book. A soft blush colors his cheeks, and he shakes his head. “Mom always talked about taking me through the portal, but she never did.”
Oh, to watch him as he walks through my homeland. “Would you want to go sometime? I can take you.”
His mouth drops open, then he bites his bottom lip. “You would?”
“I’d love to.” I reach across the coffee table and squeeze his clammy hand, but what I really want to do is pull him into a kiss.
“I never dreamed I’d be able to. Mom said she had a connection, but she was always flaky. I never really believed she’d take me. But there was a twinge of hope in the back of my mind. Then…” Johnny’s shoulders drop, and he slumps in the chair, pulling his hand out of mine. “Burning was more important than me. I turned eighteen and she left.” His big brown eyes meet mine. “I still had a semester of high school and she couldn’t wait until I was done. So I stayed with a few of the Night Guards until graduation.” He laughs, then rubs his hands up his arms. “This is too much, isn’t it?”
“No. I’m sorry you had to go through that. You’re so—”
“Terrified of everything.”
“I was gonna say brave.”
The scarlet of Johnny’s cheeks deepen. “I think I’m a broken wisp. Mom and dad—what I remember of him before he left to burn—always talked about how burning is the greatest feeling in the world. I have to agree I enjoy some aspects. Flying, hovering. Changing shapes. Being a shining light. The freedom of being wisp. But I don’t have theurgeto burn.”
“You’re still very young.” Which makes me reconsider my pursuit. But only for a moment, because I know despite the literal centuries between us, we can be good for each other.
“But that’s not the worst of it. A girl died because of me.” Johnny blinks back tears. “And I think you should know.”
He trembles, fists shaking as he tries to keep from wiping his eyes. I rise and then kneel next to him, taking his hands in mine.
“Take a breath. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
Johnny nods. “I want to. Need you to know.”
“Okay. Take your time.” I rub my hands up his arms, hoping to calm him.
“I knew her from school. We were in first grade. It was dark, and she was lost. Crying so hard. But I knew the way because we rode the same bus. I shifted. She followed my light. Laughing. Giggling. Like it was a game. Because it was. Neither of us were paying any attention to the traffic. I was just trying to help her get home. But—”
I squeeze his hand. “That wasn’t your fault.”
“If I had justwalkedher home, she would still be alive. In my light form, I’m bad luck.”
“No, you’re not.”
Johnny tugs his hand from mine and uses the collar of his shirt to dab at his eyes. My heart aches for him. This memory is such a heavy burden to carry.
“I’m sorry for ruining the date,” he mumbles.
“It’s not ruined as far as I’m concerned. I hate you’ve taken the blame on yourself. I wish there was something I could do to help you.”
