Page 17 of Yours, Now and Always
Marin
This is an evolving list that will be updated as it manifests. Please prepare emotionally. I’ve consulted the stars, my therapist, and two glasses of wine.
Marin
GAGE CRIES BUT NOT LIKE SOFT-BOY CRY: Not during the vows. Not during the first look. When he sees Sarah and Luna clutching Amelia’s hands and he realizes this is his family now. It’ll be a singular tear, left eye. Very masculine. He will wipe it away like a sniper taking a breath. I’ll be in the third row whispering, “WE WON.”
Marin
AMELIA’S GOING TO BLACK OUT EMOTIONALLY THE MINUTE SHE SEES HIM: Not literally. Spiritually. She will forget every word of her vows. She’ll wing it. It’ll be devastatingly perfect. Sarah will sob. Luna will dance dramatically. Gage will press his thumb into her wrist and anchor her back to earth like the man who knows what to do with a storm.
Marin
GAGE SAYS SOMETHING UNHOLY DURING THE FIRST DANCE: I don’t know what, but it’ll be quiet and filthy and she’ll blush and we’ll all pretend not to notice. Someone’s grandmother will be scandalized. I will high-five him emotionally.
Marin
GAGE STARES AT HER LIKE SHE’S THE ONLY LIGHT HE’S EVER SEEN: All. Night. Long. It’s going to be borderline predatory. We love that for her. And for us.
Marin
THEY DISAPPEAR HALFWAY THROUGH THE RECEPTION: No explanation. No goodbye. Just gone. I’m giving it 39 minutes into the dancing before he whispers something feral, and she follows him out like a woman possessed. He will carry her shoes.
Marin
GAGE WILL SET UP MULTIPLE FAILSAFES: There’s a Plan A Wedding, a Plan B Wedding, and a Plan C “take my bride and disappear to Italy” Wedding ready to deploy. Someone will cry over the seating chart. Gage will resolve it in six seconds without moving his face. I will be watching, notebook open, wondering if he can be summoned with ritual salt and a safe word.
Marin
HE KISSES HER LIKE HE OWNS TIME: You know the kind of kiss that makes the world stop spinning for one second? That. If he doesn’t do it by the end of the night, I will start a petition.
Marin
In conclusion: love is real. I’m emotionally unstable. And if Gage doesn’t make us all swoon, I will storm the wedding with glitter bombs and full moon energy. Marin out.
CHAPTER 7
THE WEDDING WOLVES
Tim
IMPORTANT WEDDING QUESTION.
Tim
Gage. What’s your manscaping routine?
Gage
No.
Tim
That’s not an answer. This is about Amelia’s wedding night experience. Grooming is love. Do you use The Lawn Mower? Because apparently 62% of men groom, and I refuse to let you be in the bottom percentile on your wedding day.
Colin
Jesus, Tim. Maybe let him keep one thing private.
