Page 22 of Pixie Problems
The swix lifted a dainty leg and peed on my comforter.
Gross, just gross. And evil. I smiled at Doom and picked him up gently. Then I casually turned the spigot in the tub on and filled it with warm water—not too hot—and added some of my favorite elven made body wash. It felt cold and crisp on star elves’ warm skin and smelled like cedar and mint. Then I dunked Doom, making sure I scrubbed him good and clean with a hand towel, all while he shrieked at me in outrage. “You needed a bath, Doom. Obviously you’re a dirty, dirty swix.”
Naut was next to me, sitting on his haunches, whining andarrroooingin wolf language on behalf of his new buddy. I didn’t care. I wasn’t Ben and didn’t speak wolf. “He was dirty,” I explained in defense of my actions. Obviously. Also, maybe this would teach the little pipsqueak not to pee on my bed.
It dawned on me then, as I was cleaning behind the swix’s ears to his loud, shrieking protests, that I was not a good animal parent. If there was an option available to gift your new pet to unsuspecting town’s folk, I would pick that option. Also, if there was an option to send it in a barrel down a waterfall, I would pick that option too. Clearly I was rocking this pet-sitting gig.
Mia was out. Her tiger Zian would eat him. I stopped mid-scrub at that thought, paused to ponder the possible repercussions, shrugged because I didn’t care, and smirked down at Doom. “Want to go visit my friend Mia after we see Ben? She’s got a familiar that you’re going tolove.”
The moment we’d entered Ben’s Beasts I thought I was in trouble. I tried not to radiate guilt as Ben carefully took the swix out of the homemade pen I’d made for him, then held him up to his face to study him better and probably read his beady little mind. “Why is he in a cooking pot with a lid?” Ben asked mildly.
I shrugged. “Homemade pen. No other place to put him.”
“Umm-hmm,” Ben said in reply. Dice was crouched on the floor next to Naut, holding his leash so he didn’t teleport away. And if he did, she would at least go with him, attached as they were to each other. I admired her pet-savvy. I clearly was born deficient of that gene.
Doom was squeaking a mile a minute, probably conveying how much he hated living with me, and demanding that he be placed with a new owner. I waited impatiently for Ben to look up, give me the stink eye, then put Doom in a different home. One where his new pet dad wasn’t planning on casually feeding him to a tiger after he hugged his best friend and checked on her health. I tried not to cackle like an evil villain and rub my hands together, but it was a close thing.
Ben listened attentively for a bit, then when the squeaking stopped, he looked up at me. His large blue eyes were twinkling. “He reports that you’ve been attentive to his every need.” Ben’s lips twitched in suppressed mirth, but he somehow managed not to smirk, and I could feel my anticipatory smile crumble like a bad souffle. What!? I had done no such thing!
I growled aloud while Dice started coughing, apparently choking on her laughter. I scowled down at her. Ben cleared his throat, obviously in commiseration of Dice’s cough. “He really couldn’t have spoken more highly of you. He said that your care of him has been exemplary, and that you even gave him a bath before coming in today. Also, he loves the name you chose for him.”
I narrowed my eyes and glared at the deviously adorable swix. I was obviously dealing with an animal mastermind. I would keep that in mind for the future.
Doom 1-Rhys 0
* * *
I metup with Mia later. She was resting in bed. Or, I should say, Draven was attempting to keep her in bed, but she was whiny and being a pest. Mia didn’t handle forced rest very well. They were playing—what Draven told me quietly—was theirfifteenthgame of Scrabble. Mia refused to accept defeat and somehow kept cajoling Draven into playing, even though I was sure he had about a million other things to do.
“Are you letting her use the dictionary to find words?” I asked in horror, spying theWebster’s Dictionarybeside her on a pillow. “Oh, man, no! Don’t let her weasel her way into cheating! Losing is good for her soul, I promise.”
“Harty-har-har. It’s so I can look up the ridiculous words this one puts down,” Mia said, jerking a finger toward Draven, who managed to look at her with a straight face that looked somehow angelic, even though he was a blood-sucking vampire. I was the type of elf to take mental notes on that expression for future use. Unfortunately, I had a knack for sticking my foot in my mouth and needed help getting out of it on a near constant basis.
They had a huge sick-bed tray that stood on sturdy but short legs over Mia’s lap. She was sitting up, fluffed by about a million pillows wedged behind her, and looked a ton better than she had a few days ago. Her cheeks had a tinge of pink to them and her eyes didn’t look glassy or pained anymore. She looked showered and clean, and was wearing pajama pants that had a panda print and a pajama shirt that said This is how I roll with a picture of a panda in four different shots preparing to do a summersault.
I breathed a sigh of relief. It was not fun when your friends got sick or injured. It made me afraid, but it also made meangry.I’d madeonefriend in the last thirty years, not counting Draven whom I was still tentatively starting to warm up to.Onefriend, and she kept getting attacked by some psycho killer.
It was enough to, one, give up on complex and messy relationships altogether, and two, burn the stars because now that Mia had duped me into being her friend, I couldn’t imagine not having her in my life.
I swallowed past the lump in my throat, and then choked when I noticed that Zian had a holder thingy in front of him with game pieces. “Why does Zian have tiles?” I was blinking to make sure my eyes weren’t going bad on me. I hadn’t been sleeping well lately, and they’d given me trouble a time or two. “Seriously, guys, why does the tiger have tiles?”
Draven was sitting on a chair he’d pulled up to the edge of Mia’s bed and was looking at Mia with an expectant expression on his face, as if waiting for her to answer the question, one eyebrow raised when she made a face at him. I turned to her. “Mia?”
She fussed with the end of her tee-shirt and blushed. “I’m helping him learn how to play.”
Uh-huh. Yeah, I wasn’t buying it.
“So, in other words, one turn against Draven wasn’t enough to beat him, so you’re cheating by taking two turns.”
“No! I’m teaching my familiar how to play a game!” she said indignantly.
I started laughing and flopped down onto the bean bag I’d dragged closer to them. “Ah, starshine, I needed this visit. You would not believe the day I’ve had already. The animal Ben gave me to take care of is a menace! Who would have thought our town’s sweet little brownie was secretly someone who loves messing with people?”
“Isn’t he only six inches tall, and a rather cute looking pink and white ball of fluff?” Draven asked, moving fourteen tile pieces on the board, and joining his new word to the word Zen going down using the Z. It readOxyphenbutazonewhen he was finished placing the tiles down. I rolled my eyes. Vampires. Seriously, never play games with them.EspeciallyDraven! EvenIknew the vampire was next-level genius!
Mia read the word, mouthing it silently, then she swung a glare at Draven, shaking a finger at him like an old granny. “That is not a word! I’m calling shenanigans!” Her wavy, dark hair was up in a bun, with wispy strands that had escaped to frame her face. They invaded her mouth when she attempted to call Draven a cheat, and she yanked them out impatiently, spitting like a drama queen that had tasted something foul.
Draven chuckled at her antics and casually reached over to scratch Zian under his chin. Zian, who almost drooled at the attention, closed his eyes in bliss and made a hoarse chuffing sound. I was going to call it now and say that I didn’t think Scrabble was really Zian’s game. He seemed much more happy popping Draven’s volleyballs in the pool. “It’s a word for an ani-inflammatory drug,” Draven said, his eyes dancing.
