Page 29 of To Crave Deeply
ALEC
She’d put everything on the line. For me. She’d changed a deal with the fucking Witch Queen to get something for me. She could have had anything. Why did she want that? Why would she try to save me instead of saving herself?
Hope burst to life in my chest, and I instantly wanted to quash it. The Witch Queen was never going to put my heart back. Lori had risked her life for nothing.
I jumped to my feet and grabbed her arm. We needed to talk about this, and I couldn’t do that here. Not in front of everyone. Not when I wanted to shout at her and berate her for being a fucking idiot.
There was an uproar of protests as I dragged her from the room like an errant child, but they let me take her, only because she called over her shoulder and told them all to let me. I could feel Jasper and the Shadow Fiend’s gaze burning a fucking hole in my back, but I couldn’t find it in me to give a shit.
“Alec, stop. You’re hurting me.”
I flung her into the meeting room at the end of the corridor. I didn’t want the team overhearing this. The door slammed behind me, and I turned my anger and frustration on her.
“How could you be so fucking stupid?!”
“What?” she gasped, her eyes widening as she stepped around the table, using it as a barrier between us. Like that was going to save her from the anger that was currently making my blood boil.
“You could have asked for anything!” I yelled.
“Why are you so angry? I thought you’d be happy.”
I wanted to be. I really did. But I was angrier at the fact that she’d agreed to something so stupid.
“She won’t give you my heart.”
“She will. It was part of the deal. I deliver the original witch and she—”
“She doesn’t have it.”
Her face paled and her mouth parted in surprise. “What do you mean she doesn’t have it?”
I scrubbed my hand down my face. This was not how I ever imagined this conversation to come about. I didn’t like telling my story; hated it, in fact. It was not my finest hour, and I was paying the price for it. An eternal one.
“Rae has it.”
Lori’s brow furrowed and I could see her figuring it out. She was smart and beautiful, and I wish I didn’t have to be the one to tell her that she’d just made the worst deal imaginable. Even if she delivered the original witch, she’d get nothing in return.
“That’s why she was expelled from the Coven. She stole it for you, didn’t she?”
I nodded. “She has been the only person to ever help me. Until you.”
Lori went silent and it was fucking scary. She slammed her hands on the table and I jumped at the sudden noise. It was so unexpected, so unlike Lori, that I suddenly thought the demon had taken over.
“Goddammit!” she yelled. “When I see that witch, I’m going to…”
She was so angry she couldn’t even form words, just roar in frustration. And she was angry for me. I didn’t know how to deal with that, or with what she’d done. I just couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that she wanted to help me even though I’d been a bit of a dick to keep her away from me.
Somehow, she still managed to worm her way under my skin. I wasn’t supposed to be able to feel any emotions, the hole in my chest always felt so glaringly empty, but as I stared at Lori as she worked herself into a frenzy over my heart, I couldn’t help but feel thankful. I didn’t deserve her or her help, and yet there she was, seething over the deal with Violette the Witch Queen.
I stepped around the table and walked over to her. I rested my hands on her shoulders and she looked up at me with wariness in her eyes. The hues of grey and black swirled like smoke caught on a breeze and I wondered if they were a reflection of her temperament. In moments of calm, were they still and smooth like the surface of a lake in winter? They were fascinating. Behind the misty swirls of grey, I could see the sable pits of her demon’s eyes and I knew that Lori was somehow keeping the demon at bay. I knew that Iveri was determined and powerful and I also knew that Lori didn’t have a full understanding of her shadow magic. My worry was that whatever Lori had done to Iveri might have some serious repercussions for both of them.
“Thank you,” I said, trying to keep my voice level. “I would say from the bottom of my heart, but I don’t have one.”
She snorted and rolled her eyes, which was better than seeing her angry and upset. “I’m just sorry I wasted my chance.”
Her shoulders slumped as defeat started to creep in. I hated seeing her like this, like the world was against her. Before I even knew I was doing it, I’d pulled her into my arms and wrapped her into a hug. An actual, genuine hug. It was a few moments before she relaxed enough to hug me back. In her shoes, I’d probably be wary of me too. I’d never been the sort to just hug someone for comfort. Hell, I never hugged anyone. Even after sex. I didn’t even snuggle. I was so emotionally detached from the world that being emotionally intimate with someone had never been something I sought. Until now.
We stood there for some time, just holding each other as we let the futility of the situation sink in. She’d have to deliver the original witch, or she’d be bound to Violette forever. I didn’t want that to happen, so I was going to stand alongside Lori as we marched into Hell. We’d get that witch or die trying.
