Page 86 of To Crave Deeply
“What are you listening to?” she asked again.
Shit, I must have zoned out a little there while I dreamt about her post-orgasmic glow.
“Nothing. Just some forgettable dance music.” She raised a brow in question. “The beat helps me keep pace.”
She nodded and was about to say something else, but I cut her off. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stand here talking to her when all I wanted to do was take her to my bed and keep her satisfied and screaming my name for days.
“I should let you get back to your run. I’ll see you later.” And like the coward I was, I turned and ran.
I made it about five steps before I felt her gentle tug on my arm.
It was stupid, idiotic, reckless, but I turned and faced her again anyway.
Pain settled in her eyes and my stomach clenched at the thought that I had put it there.
“Have I done something wrong?” she asked softly. Her hand was still on my arm, and I could feel the heat of her palm through my thermals. I placed my hand on hers, fully intending to remove her hand from me, but the minute my fingers touched hers, I was lost. I couldn’t do it. I knew it was wrong, but I wanted to feel her touch. Just one last time.
“No, Lori,” I replied, my tone sharper than I’d intended, and she flinched.Pull it together, Fenris. “I just… I made a promise to Elissa, and every time I look at you…”
She blinked up at me as I lost my words, those dark eyelashes surrounding her eyes fluttered and beguiled me.
“You what?” Her fingers clasped my arm tighter, and blood rushed to my dick.
I was so fucked.
“What do you see when you look at me?”
I see everything I’d ever wanted and more, are the words I wanted to say, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t say them because then I’d kiss her, and then I’d be completely and utterly lost in her.
“Temptation. You make me want to break that promise.”
“I’m sorry,” she blurted, overcome with the same guilt as me. “I try to stay away, I really do. But…”
Her gaze dropped to the floor, and it was a mistake. Iknewit was a mistake, and I cursed myself for it, but I put my finger under her chin and brought that swirling stormy gaze back to mine. Her eyes were full of storm clouds, of turbulence, angst, and guilt, and I couldn’t bear that I was the one making her feel that way.
“Oh, Lori,” I gasped. “What have I done?”
Horror swept across her face and an instant rebuttal escaped her lips. God, those lips should be illegal, and I couldn’t stop the way my body reacted when she stepped closer or when she fisted her hand in my top.
“No, it’s not your fault, Fenris.”
Fuck. Why did she have to say my name? My self-control was already hanging by a thread and then she had to say my name. I’d never been so close to snapping.
I groaned. A sound of desperation. Of need and pain and I had to pull away from her. Her fingers tried to hold onto me, but I needed to put some distance between us. I needed space. I needed to breathe air that wasn’t tainted by her.
“Fenris,” she pleaded as I turned my back and I had to erase the sound from my mind because all I could think about was seeing her in my bed, moaning my name just like that as I—
Nope. Think un-sexy thoughts. Think un-sexy—
“Fenris. Look at me.”
The tone was harsh. Firm. Demanding. And my feet immediately stopped in their tracks. My gaze obediently found hers and I flinched at the determination I saw in her eyes.
“Ignoring this isn’t going to just make it go away. It’s painful and it’s hard but I also made a promise to Elissa that the line was drawn firmly in the sand. I won’t act on whatever this is between us, but please, don’t ignore me. You were first and foremost my friend; I don’t want to lose that. Not after I lost Cassian.”
Her eyes filled with tears at the raw pain that lingered in her heart. I wished, more than anything, that I could take that pain away. Guilt twisted in my core because I could. She still didn’t know, and I wanted to tell her, but I was bound by an oath. It wasn’t my secret to tell. And as she stared at me, with sorrow pouring from her, anger rose in me like a fire. Hot and wild and furious.
“I have to ignore it!” I exclaimed, my hands flying through my hair in utter frustration. “Because if I think about it, for even a second, then I’ll want to mark you as my own. I will want to claim you in the most primal way and nothing, absolutelynothing, would have the power to stop me.”
