Page 53 of Sparks of Insanity
“Em, talk to me.” I lowered us down to the floor, sitting on the paint-stained carpet, and hugging her against my chest. She was shuddering so violently that I eased back to pull my jumper off, and pretty much manhandled her into it, tugging her back against my chest again.
“Shh it’s okay. Whatever you just lived through again, it’s over, okay? It’s not happening, and you’re not there anymore. You’re here with me.”
Her sobs finally calmed down, but she was still shivering intermittently, and I had no idea how to help with this, because I’d never fully experienced one of her flashbacks before. I wished I had some kind of advice or guidance to build upon, but I didn’t know enough of the specifics of what had happened to her, to understand what might hurt or trigger her.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
She shook her head vehemently, but if she didn’t tell me, how the fuck was I supposed to help her?
“Your name triggered it?” It was just a guess, but her reaction to her name was always a surprise, because it was more than dislike, it was like revulsion. Like it disgusted her to hear it. She shrugged, and I fought the urge to demand answers.
“Was it something that happened to you at your old school?” She froze for a moment, then nodded once. “Em, please, talk tome. I’m sure it’ll help you to get this stuff out of your head, and they say talking helps.”
She shuddered again, but I’d obviously sparked something, because she started to speak.
“Oh, do they? Do they say that hearing that sick stuff out loud is good for victims? Wow, okay.” Sassy was fine, as long as she talked to me.
“I was new at senior school, Ethan, I was eleven fucking years old. Imagine being eleven and being forced to suck an older kid’s dick, purely because they decided you’d be their target.”Jesus. At eleven? I bet those fuckers weren’t even punished for it. Expulsion wouldn’t have been enough. Fucking castration would be more suitable.
“Jesus, Em-”
“Oh, don’t stop me now, Ethan. It’s good to talk, right? And it’ll be good for you to pity, and be repulsed by me, even further. Eleven years old and having cum shoved down your throat. It’s a real joy. Oh, and we weren’t alone. Oh no. Four of his fucking friends were there, holding me down, and chanting my name, calling me a whore and a slut.”Fuck.
My heart was fucking aching for her, but there was also this deep-seated desperate need to fucking avenge her too. I wanted to find the assholes, and beat them until they begged for a reprieve. Of course, these days I think I was less likely of having enough control to do so, than I’d ever been before. If I ever thought I could kill, this would be why.
“Please tell me they paid for what they did, Em. Please tell me that somehow they were held accountable, or expelled, or something.”
She giggled, pushing out of my lap, and getting up, leaving me immediately missing the warmth of her bare skin.
“Did they pay? I’m not sure why you think that’s any of your business, Ethan, but maybe you should ask my brother if they paid.”
I watched her leave the room, my eyes unable to avoid that pert ass of hers as she walked away from me, but her words finally permeated my brain. Ask her brother? Blaze? Jesus fuck… he’d exacted revenge for her? Suddenly the last thing I wanted was to know what that revenge might have been.
I stared at the painting she’d been working on. It was beautiful, truly, but it lacked any of her usual signature style. True, I’d only seen her pen and ink work, but this was generic, almost faceless. She’d given me what I wanted, but it wasn’t her.
I dug her phone out of my pocket and stared at it. Was I a complete fucking idiot? I nodded to myself, as I selected a number and set it ringing. A videocall, because some things had to be discussed face to face.
“She better be okay, or you’re dead.”
I sighed, faced with Gray fucking Cross, when I’d rather be speaking to literally anyone else right now.
“I was hoping to have a chat with Wilma, please.”
His eyes narrowed dangerously at me.
“That’ll be a fuck no. You’ll talk to me and like it.” Jesus fuck. Not. I like it not.
“I need to talk about Em, but I feel like you’re not going to be the one who can help me.”
Gray got up and moved across the room he was in, and I heard Dory’s voice too. Oh great. Two men who want to kill me is always better than one.
“You’ll talk to both of us, fuckhead. What’s going on?”
30
Ember
After I left Ethan,I went back to the room I’d chosen as mine, and climbed into the bed, wrapping myself in the covers as my mind raced. He’d comforted me. He’d supported me. He’d held me, for god’s sake, but he was still keeping me at arm’s length, still seeing me as someone to distance himself from.
