Page 52 of Sparks of Insanity
“What? I’m going to get started on something with some nice earthy tones for you.”
“You’re naked.” Wow, full marks to the teacher.
“I told you I need to be able to move freely. You agreed to that, remember?” Ethan glared at me like he wanted to yell, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides.
“This isn’t appropriate, Ember. You’ll go and put something on. That’s an order.”
I dropped the tubes of paint on the floor, ignoring the splat of yellow that hit my foot and stained the pale threads of the carpet.
“Fuck!”
I lifted my hands, looking at him with frustration.
“You demanded that I paint to please you, Ethan. I demanded that I get to be comfortable while I work. You agreed to that. You agreed to three things, remember?”
He headed for the door and I called out to stop him.
“One of those things was staying in the room with me while I paint, Ethan. Are you not a man of your word? How can I even begin to trust you, if you go back on your word this easily?”
Checkmate, motherfucker. Ethan practically growled at me, as he took a seat on the floor as far from me as possible, and gestured to me to get working. See, my plan here was simple; he thought he could stay away from me, but I planned to keep teasing and enticing him until he lost his grip on that control, and touched me again.
Once he’s touching me, he won’t be able to hold back. I know my first time was a little traumatic, but I wanted to do it again, to experience it the way it should be, now there was no fear of how painful it would be the first time.
I started painting, using wide swipes of colour, to background the canvas. It’s really easy to do a basic ‘scenery’ painting like he said. It’s all about little dots and flicks here and there, to make the leaves of the trees, and the rest of it is imagination. I spent the next two hours doing just that, adding thick trunks, and then flicking and dabbing leaves everywhere.
Every time I looked up and saw he wasn’t watching, I made a sound to attract his attention, so his eyes were back on me. I was naked for a reason, and it wasn’t for ease of painting, it was to seduce him, so the least he could do was look at me.
“That’s looking nice, Ember.”
I ignored him, because I’m not answering to that fucking name. He knew my problem with it stemmed back to what happened to me at school. He knew that their taunts and cruelty led to me hiding from my name, my entire identity. It was cruel of him to even enforce it again.
Unbidden, a memory hit me, as I remembered the one person who made me hate my name so much.
“Oh look, it’s pretty little fairy Ember. Come here, little girl,” he taunted, following me down the unfamiliar hallway. I’d only been at the school a few days, and I didn’t know my way around, but these boys were all bigger than me, and I didn’t understand why they kept being cruel to me.
“Please let me pass. I’m just going to the library for my-”
“Don’t care. Gotta pay the toll, pretty girl. Let’s see, what should it be, boys?” He grabbed a handful of my hair, and pushed me back against the wall.
“Please!”
“Touch her tits, man.” My what?
He leaned closer, sneering at me as his hands landed on my chest, squeezing at my small breasts.
“Well, I would, but she’s hardly got any. Maybe I should just make little Ember the fairy suck my dick. Does Ember wanna suck a dick, huh?” They all started chanting my name as he shoved me down to my knees, and several of them held me down, as he started unfastening his grey trousers.
“Ember! Look at me, dammit,” Ethan hissed, his hands tight on my arms as he practically shook me. I shuddered, tears burning my eyes, as the familiar sense of shame and helplessness washed over me, weighing down on me, making me feel dirty and worthless. Ember was the school slut, and I never wanted to be that. They gave me no choice.
“Jesus, Em, focus on me, please,” Ethan said, lifting my chin and swiping away tears with his other hand. I tried to speak, but a choked sob was all that came from my lips.
For the first time, after a horrific memory like that, someone was touching me, and it wasn’t awful, and it wasn’t a nightmare. It was comforting. It was comfort that I desperately needed, so I buried my face in his strong chest and sobbed out my despair, my torment, and my pain.
Ethan
I HAD NO IDEA what the fuck had happened while she was painting, but she’d gone from taunting me to freezing in place, the paintbrush clenched tightly in her hand as her body started to shudder. I distinctly heard her whispering something, but the only word I picked up on was ‘please’. I had no idea what she wasbegging for, and if it was aimed at me, or someone only she could hear right now.
Holding her was a risk, but she needed it, she needed something to break that memory’s hold on her, because I was pretty sure that was what just happened. A flashback to something. It had happened a couple of times early on when I started teaching her, but her family always just ushered me from the room, and I never saw what happened next, or heard what she’d just relived or suffered through.
