Page 62 of Ryder
“I’ll be right there.” He pointed to the doorway, and stepped out of the room, his bare feet leaving wet footprints on the grey carpet, as he grabbed a second towel and dried his hair, before he stepped out of sight again. He was gone for mere moments, but when he returned, he’d ditched his soaked clothes, and was wearing a dry t-shirt and a pair of grey lounge pants.
“Sorry. Wet jeans are… well… they don’t wanna bend, and when they do, they uh…pinch. What am I saying? Like that’s worse than this.” He gestured to me, shaking his head at himself. I didn’t know why he kept acting like I mattered more than him, that my comfort was more important than his. He should hate me.
Once he’d helped me dry off, he helped me into a t-shirt, and pair of thick grey sweatpants.
While we’d been doing that, he’d had the bathroom door firmly closed. A light tap on the door made me jump, but he just yelled out a thank you, and carried on helping me. When I was dressed, and my hair towelled dry, he opened the door againand led me to the bedroom. The bed had been made with fresh bedding, and there was a tray waiting with a couple of mugs on it, and a pack of crackers.
He grimaced. “We weren’t sure what you might be able to eat, since that drug made you so sick, but dry crackers were the best guess.”
“Who did all this?” I asked, noting that the room was now gently lit with lamps either side of the bed.
“Prospects.It’s what they do.” He smirked at me. Prospects, as in prospective members. I’d heard of those.
He led me to the bed, and helped me under the covers, and then he walked around the bed, and sat on top of the bedding, grabbing a mug from the tray, and passing it to me.
“It’s tea. I hope it’s to your taste, but if not, I’ll call Tommy back.”
I shook my head. “I’m sure it’s fine. Thank you for this. I’m still not sure why you rescued me, or are looking after me so well, but I do understand that you’ll want some form of retribution for what I did to you. I deserve that.I’m no better than he was.” No tears spilled out. I think I’d run out of tears for now. Maybe forever.
Ryder cursed under his breath, nudging the tray closer to me, the crackers sitting waiting.
“Nobody deserves that, okay? And what happened with us, it’s completely different.”
I wrapped my hands around the mug, even though it was almost too hot to grip.
“I drugged you, and forced myself on you. It’s exactly the same.”
He stared at me for so long that I had to look away, because it was too much. Too intense. Too real.
“Tori, that was messed up, what happened with us, but it’s not the same thing. You didn’t hurt me. And… I mean… you didn’t… it’s not the same. I’m fine. Let’s just focus on you.”
I was oddly angry with him, for not accepting that I was the same damn evil as Dom. I knew it, and I could admit it now, so why wouldn’t he?
“I made you have sex with me. I didn’t give you a choice, and you had no chance to say no. You had no chance to reject me, and go for someone else. It’s… It was wrong.”
“Why the hell would I have said no? I’m actually pretty easy. Ask anyone.” He was trying to make light of things, but that just pissed me off even more.
“You didn’t choose me. You chose her; Alicia. You wanted to fuckher. Instead, you were drugged, and forced to be with me.”
He wouldn’t have said yes to me, not scarred like this. Dom had made sure that no man would ever willingly want me.
Ryder was watching me again, like he was trying to read my mind.
“Try some of the crackers. If you can keep those down, you could try the paracetamol again.”
Ryder
She seemed to beshutting down, right in front of me. She’d gone from being open and trusting, which had stunned the hell out of me, because she really didn’t know me at all, to suddenly avoiding my eyes and she wasn’t talking anymore.
“Did I say something wrong?” I asked her, because I wanted those eyes on me again. I wanted her looking at me, and interacting with me.
She sipped her tea, shaking her head. “I’m tired. I’ve had a bad day.”
Yeah,understatement of the fucking century.
I got up, moving the crackers to the bedside cabinet for her. I grabbed a glass and filled it with water, and set that with two of the pills beside the crackers. She watched me, but didn’t speak, or move.
Finally I went back to the side of the bed, but as I started to sit down, I realised what might be wrong.
