Page 85 of Ryder
I looked everywhere but him for a moment.
“Not the stuff you take.I need GHB.”
He cursed, and came at me, like he should, like any decent man fucking should.
“You better not be thinking about what I think you are!”
I cleared my throat, knowing he’d get it instantly.
“And Viagra.”
He froze, his eyes widening at me as he figured it out just as quickly as I’d known he would.
Twenty-Seven
Ididn’t know whyI kept doing my best to wind him up sometimes. I mean, I knew I was doing it, and I knew I was being unreasonable. I think the main reason was thatI wasn’t afraid of Ryder, not really. Not of the man I’d come to know, since I’d been here.
But the original version of him, the one I’d had to drug to feel safe with? He was still in my mind too, like a different Ryder. A deadly one. One who could overpower me, just to have his way with me.
Why couldn’t I just see the one version of him? The real him. He kept trying to show me that he wouldn’t hurt me, or force himself on me, and all I could see was the animalistic version of him in my fantasy. In my mind.
He was quiet when he came back, edgy, just very not like his usual self. I tried apologising, but he just waved it off, and made lunch for us, like we hadn’t had a big fight. Later that night though, something so bizarre happened that I was frozen in shock.I never saw it coming.
Someone had knocked on the door, and he hadn’t let them in, instead talking through the door for a few moments, before he took something from them, and came back to me. He’d placed a bag in my hand, and walked away. What the hell? He’d also locked the bedroom door this time.
He sat at the small dining table, waiting for me to check the bag, and the contents had me up and storming over to him. I slammed the bag on the table, my heart thudding heavily in my chest.
“What the fuck is this?”
He lifted his gaze to mine, looking wary.
“A gift.”
“A gift? GHB? How is that a fucking gift? Are you out of your mind?”
He sighed and pulled the bag open, lifting out the item I hadn’t noticed. A plastic bag with three small blue pills in it.Viagra. What the hell was going on?
He set them on the table, placing the small vial of clear liquid beside them.
“Call it date night, whatever.I’m offering you what you needto make you feel safe.”
I practically fell into the seat opposite his, my hands trembling, as I clasped them on the table in front of me.
“You’re… are you suggesting what I think you are?”
He shrugged, looking almost embarrassed by his gesture, now that we were discussing it.
“Ryder, tell me. I need to hear you say it to me.”
He groaned, resting his chin in his hand as he stared at me.
“I think it’s pretty fucking obvious, babe. I’m offering you what you need to feel safe and get off. My body for the night.On your terms.”
Jesus Christ. I got up and started pacing the room, feeling not only edgy, confused, and overwhelmed, but something else.Curious. No… not curious. Interested. More than that.Aroused. I stopped and stared at him again, but he hadn’t moved, just kept his eyes on me.
“You’re suggesting that I drug you, for sex… that’s what you’re saying…”
He raised his eyebrows at me.
