Page 86 of Ryder
“I don’t know what else I can do to show you that you’re safe with me, Tori. I’ll never hurt you. I want you, but not if it’s going to scare you. So…yeah… that’s what I’m offering. My body. You in control. You probably won’t even need the Viagra, I’m so fucking horny all the time, but there it is. You want to recreate our first date? I brought everything you could possibly need.”
I was speechless, and strangely, reallyreallyfucking keen to do this. Not because I’d be doing it to him, but because I wanted him too. I was just so afraid to be at the mercy of any man again. Even him.
“Say something, Tori. I’m losing my mind here,” he practically whispered.
“You’d do this for me? You’d go through that again? For me?”
He stood up and pointed at his erection, bulging against the front of his jeans.
“Apparently I’m up for this, but I also know, like this, I’m a threat to you. A risk. So dope me up, and have your way with me. I’ll still get rid of these fucking blue balls, so it’s not entirely selfless, babe.”
I grinned, and tried to hide it, because it was wrong. It wasso fucking wrong.
“You’re willingly being drugged for sex… I mean, after everything, you’re willing to do this?”
He frowned. “Would you prefer me not to be? Is that part of the fantasy? Does it have to be against my will? I’m not sure I can do that. I’m so fucking desperate to be with you.”
I eyed the supplies on the table.
“That’s definitely not what I mean. I just mean that this stuff is strong, and you’ll have little to no memory after.”
He cursed under his breath. “Yeah, that part bugs me too, because I really want to remember. I want to be aware, and know that I’m with you, but who knows. Maybe if you feel comfortable doing this, you can try restraining me, and leaving me aware, some other time.” He frowned then, looking confused for a moment.
“I can’t believe I’m suggesting this. You have to understand, I’m not naturally the kind to give up control in anything. I’m willing to give that to you though.”
Somehow I was standing at the table again, my hand reaching for the GHB.
“I can try and give you a smaller dose than before, so you won’t be out for as long.”
He walked over to a cupboard and rummaged around, bringing something to me. Handcuffs, but not the normal kind. These had a longer chain between the cuffs. Not long, but probably a few times longer than usual.
“Don’t ask, but the key is there with them. You can loop them around the central bar of the headboard. If you need to tie my legs, I daresay I have some rope around here somewhere.”
“Ryder... I can’t believe you’re offering to do this.”
He stepped closer, tilting my chin up with the merest touch of his skin against mine.
“I told you I want you to be my old lady. You think that’s a quick or easy decision? I want to spend my life with you. If I can’t give you what you need to be safe, and happy, and fulfilled, then I’m not worthy of you.”
My mouth dropped open, and he grinned.
“Plus, like I said…blue balls from hell.”
He backed up fast, before I could slap at him.
“What if someone comes in?”
He glared at the door for a moment.
“It’s locked, and the prospect on the door knows better than to let anyone in, even if they can get in. The only person who knows we’re even considering this is Ice, because he got me the uh… supplies.”
“Ice?”
“Yeah, and he’s seriously pissed about it. He thinks it’s ‘unhealthy’ or some shit.”
It was. Incredibly so. But it was also going to happen.
Ryder
