Page 77 of Hold Your Breath
“It was the first time I decided whatIwanted to do. Once I got here, I had to learn everything from scratch.” She turned another banana into a teeter-totter by balancing it over a single apple and then rocking it back and forth. “I hadn’t even mowed my own lawn back in Connecticut, and here I had to learn how to take care of my solar batteries and how to fix my generator when it wouldn’t start and…just everything. I didn’t even know how to start a fire when I first moved into my cabin. I thought it was a matter of throwing a lit match at a stack of logs.”
When she risked glancing at him, Callum was still expressionless, but he was looking at her with an intense focus that made her shiver. She took that as a good sign and continued.
“It was really hard and scary, but I did it. Now, you make everything easy.” Frowning, she spun the teeter-totter banana in a circle before it wobbled and fell off the apple. “And that’s even scarier, because I just want to dump everything in your lap and lie on a fainting couch while you fan me with palm fronds and feed me grapes.”
His slight choking sound brought her head around, but his expression hadn’t changed. Turning back to the plate, she made a happy face out of two apples for eyes and a banana for a mouth.
“I don’t want to go back to that helpless, weak person I was before.” She flipped the banana over so it created a frown. “And I’m really tempted when I’m with you.”
Although she didn’t hear him cross the room to stop behind her, he was close enough to reach out and reflip the banana to a smile. “I worry about you all the time,” he said gruffly, and she whirled around to face him.
“I don’t want you to worry. I want to do such a good job taking care of myself that you don’t have to worry.”
“You’re not the problem.” He shifted closer, never taking his gaze from hers. “It’s snowstorms and killers and fires and that fucking stalker. When you’re not with me, I’m constantly thinking about you.”
As she stared at him, nerves and something else—somethingamazing—bubbling inside of her, she said quietly, “I think about you all the time, too.”
“I do want to protect you. I do want to do things for you, to make your life easier.” He brushed his thumb over her bottom lip. “Whatever I do, you could never be helpless. And you definitely could never be weak.”
“But—”
He silenced her with a short, hard kiss. “Does discussing the HDG case with me take away from what you’re doing?”
“No.”
“Did having me help you last night and stay with you this morning in the aftermath of the fire make you weaker?”
She considered the question. “Not really. But I think I wanted you there too much.”
With a shake of his head, he told her, “It’s okay to have help. When we go on dive-team calls, we are never alone. We’re stronger together, safer together. Getting a second opinion on what truck you should buy won’t change what you’ve accomplished by moving out here and surviving.”
When she was quiet for several moments, he added, “Okay?”
“I think so.” He’d given her a lot to consider, and her brain chose that moment to go from full speed to a crawl. “Can I chew on what you said and let you know in the morning?”
Hooking an arm around her neck, he pulled her into a hug. “Of course.” He kissed the top of her head. While she was debating whether to give in to the hug or pull away, her body decided on its own, sinking against his heat and strength. Giving her a final squeeze, he gently pulled away. When his hands left her shoulders, she swayed with exhaustion.
“Bed,” he ordered, narrowing his eyes at her.
“Only if you come too.”
Callum considered her. “Deal.”
She didn’t obey him because she was weak or helpless, her fuzzy brain decided, but because she was dead tired and longing for his cloud-soft bed. Turning to the stairs, she headed to the bedroom without even tossing back a flippant comment, and she couldn’t help a pleased smile when he followed right on her heels.
Chapter 15
The next morning, Lou called Ian as soon as she figured it was late enough to be considered a reasonable hour. For some reason, pissing off a member of the local, potentially murderous MC seemed like a bad idea. Despite her patience, he didn’t answer. When the call went to voice mail, she left a message asking him to call her back.
Although it was Saturday, Callum had headed to his office at Station One early that morning. He’d mentioned needing to catch up on paperwork. Even though he didn’t say that he was behind because he spent so much time dealing with her problems over the last few days, Lou felt a guilty pang, knowing she was the reason he was working on a weekend.
He’d delayed leaving, standing next to the mudroom door as he’d eyed her with an unreadable expression. He’d been jangling his keys in a nervous, very-un-Callum-like motion.
“What?” she’d asked.
His eyebrows had pinched together. “Maybe I shouldn’t go.”
“Why not?”
