Page 73 of Turn the Tide
“Not necessary to do their job. It may have even gotten in the way of it. Like with you. You need to put on your big-girl panties, finish the job, and give them the damn thumb drive.”
She planted her hands on her hips, spitting angry, hot as a firecracker. Not a good sign. She was winding up to let him have it. He braced, prepping to take it.
“I haven’t seen you in two years,” she said, “and you’re going to lecture me on the tenets of being a good operative based on amovie? You’ve got some gall, you quitter.”
“I didn’t quit the Agency. I was fired, sweet pea.” He had Sanborn to thank for being able to stand on that soapbox.
“Do you think I care if you quit the Agency? You idiot! You quit on me. You quit on our friendship and left a hole in my life. Happiness isn’t just a state of mind; it’s a choice. Chris and Javier are dead, but you quit on living. Did you ask yourself how hard it was for me?Imissed the intel about the bomber. It’smyfault they’re dead.Myfault you were hurt while I was trapped at Langley. Helpless. I couldn’t even be at your side when you were rushed to the hospital.”
“First, you arenotresponsible for what a piece-of-shit terrorist did. Second, don’t you think I know I should be grateful to be alive? I’m sober. I’m working. I’m trying every damn day. I’m not the quitter here. We had a lousy argument, and you walked out. You were areal ride-or-diefriend when I was at my lowest.” Once the words were out, he wanted to take them back, but he still couldn’t stop his hurt feelings from overflowing. “You’rethe quitter!”
She gasped, recoiling on her heels. Then her eyes narrowed. “You said awful, disgusting things to me! Told me you didn’t need or want me in your life. To leave and never come back. You slammed the door in my face.”
“You’re the most obstinate person I know,” he said. “Worse than a mule. Since when have you ever listened to me? And why would you start then? When I was drunk and raving?”
Raw, crushing emotion broke in her expression, leveling him.
He curled his hands around her shoulders, softening. “It kills me I said those things to you. I was furious at myself for surviving when Javier and Chris didn’t. At the world for being unspoiled and unblemished and beautiful. And I was furious at you. For looking at me with pity.”
He had demanded to know why she stuck around, how she could bear the sight of him.
She’d stared at him with the pity you’d show a mangy mutt with three legs.I owe it to you, Logan. You’re my friend.
Another deep stab twisted between his ribs. He hadn’t wanted her friendship that night. He’d needed her comfort and affection. To bury himself inside her, make love to her. It had been selfish for a damaged wreck like him to have expected her to make him feel worthy as a man, when he had to do that for himself back then.
She cupped his face. “Logan Silva, I have never pitied you. What you saw in my eyes was sadness that you were drinking yourself to death. And gratitude that I didn’t lose you. You’re my best friend.”
A splintering sensation cracked through his chest. “Yeah, abrother. I got it.”
“You’re offended bythat, of all things?”
“Do you remember when I kissed you?”
Her wet lashes fluttered, a deep flush rising along her throat, and she nodded, looking scared of what he might say next.
“A man doesn’t kiss a woman like that if he thinks of her as a sister.”
He had captured her mouth, slipping his hands in her hair, and had funneled years of pent-up desire into the press of his lips and caress of his tongue. Her flavor had flooded his senses, weakened his knees, but it had been more than a kiss. A dangerous gamble of their friendship. An offer of everything he had to give to the right woman, to her. And she had rejected him.
Staring at her, loneliness was a weed winding around his heart, choking him. “So, yeah, I’m stuck onbrother. It’s good to finally know why you shot me down.”
“You really are an idiot.” She rose on her toes, throwing her arms around his neck, and crushed her lips to his.
