Page 95 of Turn the Tide
“Don’t apologize for following your conscience.” Logan curled an arm around her shoulder, bringing her trembling body against him. “Don’t you dare. What would this world become if good people stopped trying to do what was right? You have to make a stand for things to change, or you just keep rolling along with the system. The Agency would be better if more people followed their conscience even if it conflicted with orders.”
It took Ashley risking her life to get Sanborn on a plane and in a room so she could convince him. No telling how this would’ve played out if she hadn’t run. Maybe Glasses would’ve gotten to her sooner and she would be floating in the river. Maybe the CIA might have all the data instead of a random 30 percent.
At least no one would ever be able to do harm with the 70 percent that was smashed to hell. And that had to count for something.
Logan held her tighter, pressing his lips to her hair, grateful she was at his side. Her wounds would heal and together they’d work through the mental scars.
Tears of joy and hope stung his eyes. He struggled desperately to keep it together.
Knox pressed off the wall. “I wish you had listened. To Sanborn and to me. We were never the enemy.”
“Yeah, well, water under the bridge.” Logan didn’t let a hint of remorse show.
“Not for some of us,” Knox said. “How can you be so fucking cavalier about this? Your actions cost others. I’m now indebted to the devil and because of the deal Sanborn made to save your lives he’s going to los—”
“Knox.” Sanborn shook his head. “Enough.”
“What deal?” Ashley asked, stealing the question from Logan’s mouth.
“It doesn’t matter,” Sanborn said, calm, measured. “What does is that I’m appalled at how the Agency and the West Wing handled this. They share the blame in this god-awful mess as far as I’m concerned.” He looked around the room. “You made mistakes. Big ones. But your hearts were in the right place. You’re stillmypeople. I won’t leave you high and dry simply because I’ve been ordered to.”
Even after they’d created this FUBAR—fucked up beyond all recognition—situation that could’ve ruined Sanborn’s reputation, the big guy wasn’t turning his back on them and leaving them out in the cold. It shouldn’t have surprised Logan, but it did. It left him in awe.
Sanborn never gave up on those he cared about, and despite his lethal skills as a warrior and his brilliance as a strategist, his humanity was his greatest strength.
“I will always take care of my own,” Sanborn said. “I’ve agreed to head up a new covert agency. The Gray Box. No ties to the CIA or DoD. I’ll report to the president and keep the director of national intelligence in the loop. Only a handful of people will know it exists. I’ll have the power to accept or refuse any mission. I can’t use you in an official capacity, considering the circumstances, but I’d like to keep you on retainer, under the table, as backup. Think of yourselves as the final-hour cavalry. I’ll only call when absolutely necessary.”
And they’d collect a small check every month until then? That was beyond generous, more than they deserved. After Logan recovered from the car bomb and declined to go back to the CIA, it’d been Sanborn who arranged Logan’s first few freelance clients. Logan wasn’t supposed to know, but success had fallen into his lap without him trying. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out.
Logan had been too stubborn and angry at the world to pick up the phone and utter a word of appreciation. But not now.
“You’ve always looked out for us,” he said. “For the spouses and children left behind at home while we risked our lives. Even if we walk away from the family, you still do what you can for us. Thank you.” He nodded, allowing his sincere gratitude to show. “But what about Penny? I thought you had to retire.”
Sanborn averted his gaze and folded his arms. “I’m sick and tired of my operatives being treated as disposable commodities. I can change that. Penny will understand.”
Penny was a forgiving, patient woman, but she’d been serious about drawing a line in the sand one day. Maybe she’d give him more time. Logan sure did hope so.
“The retainer will help with the loss of our pension,” Mike said, “but what’re we supposed to do in the meantime? I can’t go months without health care while looking for a steady gig.”
“Ethan, Mike,” Logan said. “I’m here for you, whatever you need. I have a little money saved. It’s not much, but it could—”
“Thanks, but do you have any idea how expensive medical care is?” Mike pressed the heel of his palm to his forehead. “How expensive babies are? With little Lizzie, the other kid on the way, and the preeclampsia, I told Missy to quit her job.” He clutched his chest like he might have a heart attack. “Shit. What are we going to do?”
“I’ve already thought of that,” Sanborn said, gesturing to his second-in-command.
“Go see Donovan Carmichael.” Knox scrawled a phone number on a piece of paper. “He owns a security firm. Tell him you worked with us and that you’re no longer…in the system. He’ll understand and will find work for you as soon as possible.”
“And his medical insurance is pretty good.” Sanborn tossed four economy-class airline tickets on the table. “I’ll be in contact once I have access to funds to put you on retainer.”
Everyone nodded and voiced their thanks again.
Sanborn and Knox left.
“I thought this might end with me dead,” Ashley said in a quivering whisper. “I never imagined I’d get anyone fired, much less disavowed. I’m so sorry, guys. This is all my fault.”
“No, Ash.” Logan grasped her chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing her gaze to meet his. “I dragged them into this. I should’ve gone to make the exchange at the Reichstag alone. It’s my fault they were disavowed. Not yours.”
She had enough weighing on her. He wouldn’t let her carry that burden too.
