Page 12 of The Friend Scheme
It’s probably for the best, though. I’m officially thinking about him too much. Having access to his social media would just push things over the edge. It’s sure to be really cute, filled with selfies of him gaming and stuff. And maybe hot. He probably posts thirst traps, and I very much want to see those.
I pull my phone from my pocket, put my earbuds in, and hit play on my current playlist. The top song is “Straight to My Head” by You Me at Six, which is this song I’ve become weirdly obsessed with lately. It’s pretty much the only song I listen to. I turn the volume up way too high to be safe, but whatever. It lifts my mood almost instantly.
God, I love this song.
Up ahead, making their way down the hall toward me, is a group of football jocks. Even though it’s hot out, the whole group is wearing matching black-and-white varsity jackets, most unzipped with the sleeves pushed up. Damn, there are so many nice arms in that group. Any one of them could push me around and I’d be sort of a-okay with it.
Like, if they put me in a headlock…
They reach me, and one, Zach Lunsford, makes a show of not moving for me.
I duck out of the way at the last second.
“Watch it,” he says, growling.
“Sorry.”
I reach my locker, spin in my combination, and realize something.
He’s the first student I’ve talked to all day.
Another hour of searching, and I still haven’t found Jason.
I do this a lot. I have this weirdly obsessive brain. Whenever something catches my fancy, I latch on to it. I do it with movies and gaming, too. When I like something, I like ithard. I dive deep into theory threads on Reddit and watch analysis videos on YouTube, just generally obsess, until I find something else that draws my focus.
This is the first time I’ve felt this way about another person.
I’m aware I’m being ridiculous. I’m lying on my bed, staring at my phone, thinking about a boy.
I search my room for a distraction. Like, a game I can play, or a movie I can watch to get my mind off this. Beside my desk, which holds my space-gray MacBook Pro, is my bookshelf. It’s mostly epic fantasy and YA books, but front and center is my record ofSam’s Town. I don’t own a record player, but Luke got it for me because he knows how much I love that album.
On the dark gray wall above it are a few Polaroids from my real-photography-is-better phase, ugh, and custom art of Spider-Man, Harley Quinn, and Captain Marvel I bought on Etsy.
See, I love superhero movies.
Why’d I tell Jason I don’t like them that much?
I’m so weird.
The rest of the space is covered in movie posters. They’re all acceptable favorites, likeMulholland Drive,Creature from the Black Lagoon, andJaws. For obvious reasons I haven’t put up aLove, Simonposter, even though I love that movie so damn hard. I’ve watched it maybe ten times.
Nothing distracts me, so I lift my phone and open Grindr.
Grindr always terrifies me, seeing as I’m so not ready to be out, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like it, too. I’ve never met anyone on there, but talking to guys is still so exciting. I had to lie about my age to make my account, but that’s never really bothered me. The out gay guys at school constantly talk about their app conquests, so, like, I know everyone does it.
I use a shirtless mirror selfie, with my head cropped out. So Idon’t think anyone would be able to figure out it’s me. I scroll the wall of guys, and see there’s another shirtless and headless profile five miles away.
His profile name is just “J.”
I sit up in bed.
He has only one photo, the shirtless one. He has pale skin, a six-pack, and nice biceps and a smooth chest. I picture him wearing Jason’s clothes.
Could it be him?
I open his profile, and message him.
Hey man, what’s up?
