Page 37 of Rescuing Josiah
Why couldn’t he be a normal man, one who wasn't a threat to be around, one not consumed by rage and guilt? One who didn't spend more time wishing he were dead than actually living his life?
If he was then he could reach out and take hold of everything Chelsea was offering.
Then again, if he were that kind of man, it would have meant his team had never been slaughtered. He’d still be a SEAL, and he never would have met Chelsea.
The shaft of unexpected pain that pierced his soul at the idea of never having met Chelsea, of her never being part of his life, told him he was already in a lot deeper than he wanted to be.
Try as he might, Josiah couldn’t keep his mind on the information his team was giving him, and he prayed Chelsea was taking more of it in. Working with Chelsea was so differentthan serving with his SEAL team had been. Those guys had been like brothers, and he’d cared about every single one of them, although he was closer with some than others, but their presence had never distracted him. It hadn't taken all of a whiff of lavender to make his blood heat and his heart beat faster.
She didn't even realize how deeply she affected him.
Although as he shifted in his seat, trying not to let anyone know he wasn't paying attention, his gaze caught Chelsea’s, and she smirked. A cute little one-sided smile that told him she knew exactly what she did to him, and she liked it.
A lot.
Eventually, the call ended, his team said goodbye, he and Chelsea promised to keep them apprised of any changes on their end and assured everyone that they would be safe. Once he closed the computer, his attention swung to Chelsea. It was still early, and they didn't have any plans for the rest of the day.
Only his mind seemed to conjure up dozens.
Used to his own company, and focusing all his energy on work, it was weird to find that he hadn't minded sitting in the hot tub with Chelsea the day before, or watching movies with her, and he certainly hadn't minded sinking into her tight heat last night. Although that one had to be a one-off. No way could he hold onto any semblance of sanity if he let himself touch her and taste her again.
“Want to relax in the hot tub again?” Chelsea asked as though reading his mind.
“If you want to,” he replied, trying not to sound too eager. The last thing he wanted was for her to find out just how much power she had over him.
“Up to you.” She arched a brow at him, and he knew she was already well aware of the power she wielded.
Since she wasn't going to let him out of making a decision, he nodded. “The hot tub is fine.”
“I’ll go up and change.” She pushed to her feet and was already halfway to the stairs when her cell phone began to play some old lullaby. “Oh, my mom is calling.” She squealed in excitement, as she hurried over to snatch up her phone. “I’ll go change as soon as I'm done,” she told him before answering the call.
Watching how excited she was just to talk to her mom made his heart ache. Before he lost his team, he’d had a great relationship with his mom. She’d always been fair, always been someone he could talk to, and he’d never gone through the teenage embarrassed by his parents phase, because his mother was just such a decent person, there was nothing to be embarrassed about.
He missed his mom.
His parents.
His siblings.
It was time to stop pretending that he didn't.
Time to stop pretending he could go on like this forever as well. The more time he spent with Chelsea, the less terrifying the idea of living seemed. But was he really ready to take the plunge and try to start living again?
May 15th
9:34 A.M.
“Mama,” Chelsea greeted her mother as she answered her phone. There was just something about talking to her mom that made her feel like a little girl again. Her parents were almost in their eighties, and they needed her more and more to help out with things, but she would always be their little girl.
“Hello, my darling,” Mom said. “Your daddy and I miss you. How are you doing?”
Since talking about her undercover operation with anyone outside of Prey, even her parents, wasn't an option, she sank down onto the couch and considered her words. She hated lying to her mom, always had. Even as a teenager, she’d struggled to tell those typical teen lies. Deciding to be as truthful as possible without mentioning the trafficking ring, she tucked her feet up underneath her.
“I’m doing okay, Mom. A little under the weather, and we’re really busy with a case, but I'm okay.” The last thing Chelsea wanted to do was stress her parents out. Her dad had had a heart attack almost a year ago, and while he was doing well, his health still felt a little shaky. She worried about both of them a lot, since they’d had her in their early fifties, and she was approaching thirty, she knew their time left together was limited. It was important to her to enjoy every moment she could get with them.
“Happy to hear that, my darling. I worry about you.”
“There’s no need to worry about me.”
