Page 54 of The Best Little Christmas Shop
Glancing at Cal, I doubted pity had been the main reason for her move,but kept quiet and let him continue.
‘Annabel’s incredibly career driven. She works hard and she likes to enjoy herself too, but her enjoyment was a little more sophisticated in taste than mine. Absolutely loved a dinner party, and admittedly there were always interesting people to talk to, and I did get a certain amount of business from them, which I think was part of her plan. Nothing was everpurely for fun with her, but in a way, I admired that. She’d worked hard to get where she was. Neither one of us was looking for anything particularly deep and meaningful at that point. We were having fun. I found her interesting and intelligent and she liked the fact that I forced her to relax a little sometimes, and showed her that not everything had to be about business. That sometimes it wasOK just to do something for fun.’
‘So finding out she was expecting didn’t go down well with her then?’
Cal raised his brows and took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly. ‘That,’ he said, ‘is a bit of an understatement. I understood that it was a shock. It was for both of us, but I thought that once that passed, we’d be able to talk about things. But in the end, I actually started to geta little worried.’
‘About what?’
‘She made a couple of remarks. They were kind of in passing but something in her tone got me thinking that she might actually do something a bit dodgy. Money can pretty much buy you everything and she had plenty of that.’
‘You thought she might go for an illegal abortion?’ My stomach twisted at the thought.
‘I’m not sure. But I know the thought went throughher head because I asked her outright. She’d developed a pretty good poker face over the years, doing negotiations and so on. But I grew up watching expressions and trying to suss out what people were thinking, and so I had the edge on her, just through experience. A pregnancy risked putting a dent in her career as far as she was concerned, and right now, her career is the most important thing inAnnabel’s life.’
‘But you managed to convince her to go through with it, obviously.’
‘Yes, thank goodness. To be honest, I don’t think she really wanted to get rid of it so late. She was just panicking. As far as she was concerned, this baby was ruining everything she had ever worked for, and nothing I said could convince her otherwise. So we came to an agreement that if she went through withit all, looked after herself during the pregnancy in order to give the baby its best chance, then once it was born I’d would take full responsibility and she wouldn’t have to see either of us again, if she didn’t want to. Apparently, she definitely didn’t want to and was more than happy to sign on the dotted line. Quite literally. She actually drew up a contract.’ He gave a sad smile. ‘Because that’swhat Annabel does. Everything was a negotiation. It’s just the way she is.’ He turned to me. ‘You have a strange look on your face.’
I pushed my hand back over my hair, my fringe flopping back into place. ‘I’m just trying to get my head around it all. I mean … she wasn’t just signing her baby away. She was signing you away too.’
Cal stood and crossed to the fire. He picked up the poker and proddedat the flames, adding another log to them and waiting to make sure it caught before giving another final prod and returning to the sofa.
‘You don’t have to say any more, Cal,’ I said, laying my hand on his as he sat. ‘I keep forgetting I’m not at home where we all just blurt and blab all the time.’
He turned his hand and laced his fingers through mine and I did my best to ignore the sparks histouch sent flaming throughout my body.
‘I think it’s lovely that you all blurt and blab. Feel free to do that as much as you like.’ His fingers gently squeezed mine before he released them and returned his own hands to his lap. I felt the withdrawal keenly, and not just in my hand.
‘Annabel and I had never been serious. We weren’t in love but I cared for her. And I thought she cared for me.I think she did, in her own way. But once the baby arrived in the picture, it was different. She was different. It … and I … were a problem to be solved. A deal to be negotiated.’
‘But she knew about your childhood?’
‘Vaguely.’
‘And she didn’t see that what she was doing might be a little insensitive to someone who’d spent their early years the way you had?’
‘Are you asking if I felt rejected?’
‘Did you?’
He ran his finger along the scar on his hand. ‘I’m not going to lie and say it didn’t hurt. I know we weren’t in love but I did think we’d meant more to each other than a signature on a dotted line and a cease and desist letter. But to be honest, I didn’t have too much time to dwell on it. I had the prospect of a new baby to think about – something I literally knew nothing about –and a successful business to run. Something that was even more important now that I’d have a child to support. And then I had George. Right there in my arms.’
I kept silent, not knowing what to say. Or even if there was anything I could say. My throat felt raw from the pain this man had suffered in his life, and the way he just boxed it away, almost accepted that that was how things were. Thatwas how people got treated. The knowledge that I’d never once had to feel like that, never been left alone, or made to feel like I had no one, that no one cared, nearly broke me.
‘Thankfully, everything went to plan with the delivery. . But when it was all over, she wasn’t interested in seeing the baby or holding him at all. He had a little cry and then he was just there. Helpless. This tinylittle boy. But as far as she was concerned, her side of the deal was complete. Before long she was back on the phone arranging meetings.’
‘Wow.’
‘Yeah. I know. I, meanwhile, had lost every last shred of machismo and was standing there, holding this tiny little baby and blubbing more than he was!’
My throat felt raw as emotion pushed itself up. ‘I think that’s lovely.’
‘I couldn’t believeshe didn’t want anything to do with him. He was so perfect.’ It was hard to tell in the low light, but I was pretty sure Cal’s eyes were shining with remembered emotion.
‘Do you think she’ll ever change her mind?’
‘She signed a legal document that she wouldn’t.’
