Page 80 of Just Do It
‘Honestly, you’re overthinking it all.’
‘We’re not, darling. Believe me, we’ve taken a good hard look at the way we’ve lived our lives and found ourselves rather wanting.’
‘I really wasn’t bothered about not having a tree, or decorations, for Christmas. And, as you saw today, I’ve been more than compensated in one year for any tinsel deprivation!’ I laughed but the most Mum and Dad could do was raise weak smiles. ‘Honestly, you’re worrying too much.’
‘If we could do it all again, we would and quite differently,’ Mum said, her eyes casting downward.
‘Well, we can’t,’ I replied, shrugging. ‘And I hate that thinking about it all is making you both unhappy. I’ve never felt like I missed out. Yes, ours was different from some other houses and some other families but you encouraged me to read and question things. That’s something I’ve never forgotten and it helped me in achieving my goal to work in the field I am. I could never get back the hours and years of encouragement to study and without that I wouldn’t be where I am now.’
My parents exchanged a look.
‘Please,’ I said, spreading my hands on the table and taking one of theirs in each of mine. ‘You need to let this go. But I would love to see you more so let’s all just agree to make sure that happens. Deal?’
The smiles returned. ‘Deal.’
‘So what else are you doing whilst you’re up here?’
‘Tomorrow we thought we’d take another step to our new start.’
‘Oh?’ I said, leaning forward, intrigued.
‘Yes. We’re going to hit the shops and stock up on Christmas decorations.’
Even hearing my dad use the phrase ‘hit the shops’ was extraordinary but I felt a happy warmth envelop me at the enthusiasm behind the words. I hadn’t been lying when I said that I was grateful for the way I’d been brought up. Yes, perhaps it would have been nice if we’d spent more time outdoors and doing more traditional family things from time to time but as I’d said, would I be in a job I loved in a field of study I was passionate about if I’d had a different upbringing? I might not have been to Disney World but we regularly had family excursions to bookshops and frankly that was a far better deal in my eyes.
‘Have you got any ideas where we should start?’
‘I’m afraid you’re looking at the wrong person, but I do know someone who can probably give you some tips.’
By the next morning, Finn had supplied my parents with a list of shops that included the greats like Liberty and Selfridges, but also some small boutique places tucked away from the main tourist areas, which stocked different pieces made in small amounts by artisan glass-blowers and the like. Having met early for breakfast before I started work, they were raring to go, filled with an enthusiasm that I hadn’t seen in years. The thought of my parents going through Dad’s health scare upset me, especially as they hadn’t told me because they ‘didn’t want to worry me’. I was incredibly glad, of course, that the outcome had been benign but also grateful for this new lease of life it appeared to have instilled in them. They were heading back to Devon on the early train tomorrow but we made arrangements to video call in a couple of days and set up a proper visit.
‘If you want to spend Christmas with your parents, that’s totally understandable,’ Finn said a couple of days later over the heavenly spaghetti carbonara he’d cooked.
‘No, it’s fine. I said I’d already made arrangements and when Colette and I met Alice for coffee the other day, she was so excited.’
‘But she’d understand,’ he said, expertly twisting the pasta onto his fork.
Resting my own cutlery on the plate momentarily, I took the white linen napkin from my lap and dabbed at my chin where I had just slapped myself in the face with a strand of spaghetti. ‘Not the point.’ I shook my head as I resumed my meal. ‘I’m looking forward to it too.’
‘Good.’ He grinned, wiping his mouth before taking a sip of the full-bodied, fruity red wine he’d served with the dish. ‘Because, selfishly, I’m looking forward to waking up to you on Christmas Day. That’s probably the best present I could think of.’
I finished my last mouthful before raising my eyes to his, the hint of a frown creasing my brow.
‘Probably?’
He stood and then bent over my chair from behind, his warm breath tickling my ear as he spoke, arms with corded muscles wrapping just tight enough around my shoulders. ‘Most definitely the best present ever. In fact, I might even have to unwrap it early.’
Some time later that evening, Finn was watching a documentary on bridges which was, surprisingly, far more interesting than it sounded. The book I’d been reading now lay closed on my lap.
‘You’d be good at doing programmes like this.’
Finn laughed as a commercial break came on. ‘Me? I don’t think so.’
‘You would. You know your stuff, although that’s not always necessary as I guess these things are scripted, but you do, and you have the enthusiasm as well as that knowledge. Plus you’re pretty to look at. I’m sure the latter would be enough of a draw for a lot of people.’
He gave me a brief, sceptical look.
‘It’s true. Whether you believe it or not.’
