Page 117 of Exactly What I Needed
This entire time, I’d been waiting for that final piece to heal, and all along it was him. It was Asher who needed to come back into my life to bring things together. And I wasn’t going to let him go.
And then my stomach sank once more as I glanced at the picture on my desk. If I wanted Asher to stay, and wanted things to be permanent, I needed to tell him. Not just him, butbothof them. And the simplistic answer to my yearning just became a whole lot more complicated.
The intercom buzzed, interrupting Asher explaining one of the techniques he used to make sure his voice doesn’t get fried while singing and screaming during a concert.
“Miss Cosi, we have a phone call here at the front office that I need to transfer to your classroom phone. They said that you’re not answering your cell phone,” the receptionist’s voice bounced around the small classroom.
“Okay, go ahead and forward it. I have a guest lecturer, so that’s no problem,” I replied.
“All right,” she said, and then the intercom clicked off.
My classroom phone rang, and I picked it up, only for my heart to sink.
No, no. Not now. Why was it that the one thing I was hoping to avoid, was happening now? Of course the power had to go out right at this moment, with no hope of it restoring at the facility for the rest of the day. I’d wanted to talk to Asher about this first because it had never meant to be a secret kept from him to hurt him but to protect both of them.
Hanging up, I turned to Mrs. Wallace. “I have to run out for a bit. Would you be good to hold down the fort with Asher for a bit?”
She furrowed her brows but nodded without argument.
“Thank you,” I whispered and grabbed my purse. Checking for my car keys, I found my cellphone buried deep at the bottom of the bag as I rushed out. I didn’t even glance his way, even as I felt his confused stare burrowing into my back.
Chapter 40
“Hands out of your mouth, please,” I quietly said, tugging the toddler’s fingers from his face. He giggled and reached out for one of the passing students in the hallway as everything in me swam with absolute horrifying anticipation.
I wondered how much Asher actually knew. How much the police had told him that night, because if they told him nearly everything, this probably wouldn’t be as much of a surprise as it was going to be if they hadn’t. Which allowed a swirl of hope to rise in my heart. Except it would still be a surprise… It had been a fucking surprise to me. One I’d discovered after moving here.
“Xander, hands out. I need to wash the cheesy sticky mess from your fingers,” I stated again, holding tightly to the squirming two-year-old. The bell had already rung for the final period of the day, which was both relieving and terrifying.
Rumors were already going around about Asher being a guest lecturer in my classroom, and I was hoping he’d end up so swamped withquestions from others, I could slip out at the end of the day without him stopping me. Without him confronting me until we could have a private moment for me to explain the news to him that I’d tried to tell him earlier.
I paused in front of my classroom door, hearing a light chuckle from the students, and then Asher resumed speaking. As quietly as I could, holding a two-year-old boy who didn’t know the definition of quiet, I cracked open the door and shrugged his diaper bag higher up my shoulder.
“Music!” Xander shouted the moment that I swung the door open. He knew my classroom, knew that there were fun instruments and things to bang that made noise, and I should’ve expected him to shout.
“Look who it is!” one of my students exclaimed with a grin as my gaze slowly drifted to Asher.
Not a single muscle of his twitched, with his gaze locked onto the little boy who shoved against my body, begging to get down. Asher’s eyes widened, nearly bugging out of his head as I swallowed and bent down. Trying to not make it a big deal that there was a little, dark-headed, two-year-old who, if doing the exact math, would’ve been conceived on the very horrible day I so desperately tried to forget.
A little boy who had the exact same eyes and dimples as his dad. A little boy who went running as quickly as his little legs could carry him to the student who had yelled in the first place. Xander jumped from student to student, and Asher’s eyes remained locked on the little boy.
Brian grinned widely and scooped Xander up. The toddler scrunched his fingers in excitement. “BB!” he squealed, and Brian laughed.
“Hey, bud,” he said, and I quickly hustled over to my desk. Mrs. Wallace smiled as I plopped the diaper bag down beside the base of the whiteboard and my purse on top of it.
“What happened at his daycare?” she whispered.
“Power’s out,” I replied and looked back at Asher.
He wasn’t moving, other than his eyes that were stuck on the adventurous toddler. His chest rose and fell rapidly, and I could see the wheels working overtime in his mind. Doing the math, calculating if it was possible.
And it was.
Danny had ripped out my IUD that night, and I guess that made me fertile. But for whatever reason, Asher’s sperm had made it to the egg and not Danny’s.
Suddenly, Asher whipped his head to me, and he stood up. Swinging his leg over the chair, he stalked directly toward me. I shook my head, silently begging for him to not do this now. Not in front of everyone. He could ask me later, not when Xander was here too.
Asher stopped in front of me and tipped his head. “Who’s that?”
