Page 118 of Exactly What I Needed
I stared at him, every breath I took in shaking as I bit back more tears. “Xander,” I quietly stated.
He watched me for a moment and then glanced back at the toddler. The room hushed as he looked at the kid and then slowly moved even closer. He pushed past Mrs. Wallace and stared down at me.
“Is he…yours?” Asher asked, his voice low, then he inhaled deeply, trying to remain in control.
I nodded once. “Yes.”
“How old is he?”
“Two. A little older than two,” I replied, barely louder than a whisper.
“Cosette,” he stated.
Resounding gasps from my students swirled around the room. Even Xander sensed the tension rising. The haze of questions swimming, the iciness that was cracking throughout the room.
“I thought…” he mumbled and glanced over his shoulder again.
I shakily stood up from my chair and closed the distance between us; this wasn’t something anyone else needed to hear.
“Danny ripped it out that night, Asher,” I whispered into his ear, and he swung his gaze back to mine. Unfiltered rage tore through him, an anger that frightened me, and I stumbled a step back instinctively.
His chest expanded, and he leaned toward my ear. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, anger sliding across with his words, but I wasn’t sure if it was directed at me, at what Danny did that night, or something else entirely.
And then he stood up straight and glanced back at the boy. He studied the toddler for a moment as Xander stuffed a thumb into his mouth, and the rage in Asher’s face morphed into an almost devastating grief.
“But he doesn’t look like Danny,” Asher suddenly stated, loud enough I knew everyone else heard, and pointed at Xander. “He has dark hair and brown eyes. He’s not blond, Cosette. I know you’re not blonde, and you have hazel eyes, while Danny has green. So, tell me how he has brown eyes and dark, nearly black hair instead.”
I blinked rapidly and shrank against the whiteboard.
“Cosette, I’m not a fucking idiot,” he hissed sharply.
Another round of gasps slid amongst my students, and soft whispers rose to my ears.
“I know that,” I muttered.
“Then tell me, because right now, what’s going through my head…” He snarled, rage flashing with confusion, and shock twisted his face into something of a haunted ghost.
I sucked in my bottom lip and looked at my son. “This is what I tried to tell you… I didn’t even know when I left, and then after the lawyer…” Hot tears slid down my cheeks, and the rage in his eyes floated away. “It wasn’t my fault.”
“I’m not saying that. I know it wasn’t,” he replied quietly.
A snicker drifted around the room. “Miss Cosi, we know you’ve been through high school, so we know you know how babies are made. It wasdefinitelyyour fault,” Carter shouted with a laugh. He was one of the few students who didn’t actually want to be here, but was forced to for the credit he needed to graduate.
The tears spilled harder, faster as Asher kept his pained gaze locked onto mine.
“That was rude, Carter,” Amy hissed, whipping around from the front seat.
“We’re all thinking it. I mean, he’s a cute kid, and you’re an adult, but you can’t just go around saying it wasn’t your fault when you chose to spread your legs.” He laughed again, and Asher suddenly whipped around.
“You better shut that fucking mouth of yours before—”
“Don’t,” I interjected and placed a shaking hand against his forearm, snapping him out of this strange rage-filled state. “It’s not worth it,” I added as Asher slowly faced me again.
The whispers from my students were no longer as quiet as before. I could make out snippets of what they were saying, murmurs and questions about Asher’s relationship to me. Especially after that outburst.
“You aren’t supposed to say that word in school, by the way,” Amy quietly muttered, and Asher clenched his jaw but ignored her.
“Xander,” Asher began, and I let my hands fall to my sides.
