Page 62 of Sliding into Love
"I'm still figuring out if I can forgive you," they pant.
"I know."
"But this—" They thrust harder, and I arch beneath them. "This doesn't change what happened."
"I know," I say again. "But it's a start. Let it be a start, Royce."
They capture my mouth in a bruising kiss, and I can feel them trembling. I can feel how close they are. I reach between us, wanting to touch them, and this time they don't stop me.
"Kenny,"they moan, and the sound of my name like that pushes me closer to the edge.
"Come with me," I urge. "Let me see you. Let me feel you."
They do a moment later, their whole body tensing as they cry out. The sight and sound and feel of it sends me over too, and I follow them into bliss, their name on my lips.
They collapse against my chest, both of us breathing hard, hearts pounding in sync. For a long moment we just lie there, still connected, neither of us wanting to move.
Finally, they shift, carefully pulling out and rolling to the side. But instead of curling into me, they maintain some distance, and I feel the loss like a physical ache.
"Royce—"
"Don't," they say quietly. "Don't read too much into this. We're not… this doesn't fix everything."
"I know," I say, but I can't help reaching for their hand. They let me take it, which feels like a victory. "But it's more than we had this morning."
They're quiet for a long moment. When they speak again, their voice is small in a way I haven’t heard before. "You really hurt me. Back then. You and Clark. You made me feel worthless."
My chest tightens painfully. "I know. And I will regret that for the rest of my life. I can't change what I did, but I can promise you that I will spend however long it takes proving that I'm not that person anymore."
They turn to look at me, and in the dim light I can see the conflict in their eyes. "I want to believe you. But trust doesn't come easy for me. Not after everything."
"I know. So I'll earn it. Day by day, piece by piece, I'll earn it." I squeeze their hand. "I'm not going anywhere, Royce. I'm in this for however long you'll have me."
They study my face. Whatever they find must satisfy them because they move closer, resting their head on my chest.
"I'm keeping my guard up," they warn. "I'm not going to just hand you my heart on a silver platter."
"I wouldn't expect you to. I'll work for it. You're worth working for." I press a kiss to their hair.
We lie there in silence, the city lights painting patterns across the room. I can feel Royce's breathing evening out, their body relaxing against mine despite their words about maintaining distance.
"Stay," I say quietly. "Stay the night."
They don't answer right away, and I think they might refuse. But then they tighten their grip on my hand.
"Just tonight. Don't get used to it."
"Just tonight," I agree, even though I'm already hoping for a thousand more nights just like this.
We fall asleep like that, tangled together despite the walls still between us. It's messy and complicated and far from resolved.
But it's a start.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
ROYCE
Fuck.
