Page 94 of Sliding into Love
"Doing what? What have you been doing for years?"
They hesitate, clearly warring with themselves. Finally, they say, "I help people get out of bad situations. Dangerous situations. That's all I can say without potentially compromising their safety."
The words hang in the air. I study their face, looking for any sign of deception, but all I see is sincerity. And exhaustion. Like they're tired of carrying this secret alone.
"Victims," I say slowly, pieces starting to click together. "You help victims."
They don't confirm or deny, but the slight relaxing of their shoulders tells me I'm close to the truth.
"The group Carver mentioned," I continue, working through it out loud. "It's not drugs or stolen goods. It's people. People who need to be moved to safety."
Again, no confirmation. But Royce's eyes are locked on mine, and I can see the plea in them. Please understand. Please don't make me choose between you and this work.
My anger drains away, replaced by more complicated feelings. Fear for their safety. Admiration for what they're doing. Hurt that they didn't trust me with this.
"You should have told me," I say.
"I know. I wanted to. I've been trying to figure out how." They take another step closer. "This work is dangerous to talk about. The more people who know, the more risk there is. Not just to me, but to the people I help."
"I'm not just people, Royce. I'm your partner. Or at least I thought I was."
"You are." They reach for my hand, and I let them take it. "You absolutely are. And that's why I've been struggling with this. Because you deserve to know, but telling you also means pulling you into something that could put you at risk too. With our past, I’ve also been trying to make sense of everything.”
“My safety concerns should be my choice to make."
"You're right. They should be." They squeeze my hand. "And I'm making it now. After I call Carver back, after I handle whatever emergency this is, I will tell you everything. No more secrets. No more vague explanations. Everything."
I search their face, looking for any hint of doubt or deception. But all I see is Royce—the person I've fallen in love with, the person who takes care of everyone around them, the person who apparently helps people in ways I'm only beginning to understand.
"Okay," I say finally. "Okay. Handle your emergency. Help whoever needs help. But then we talk. Really talk."
They bring my hand to their lips, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. "Thank you for trusting me. I know that's asking a lot right now."
"It is. And I do. Trust you, I mean. Even when I don't understand what's happening."
They pull me into a hug, and I wrap my arms around them tightly. I can feel their heart racing against my chest, can feel the tension in their body.
"I'm scared," I admit quietly. "Whatever you're doing, it sounds dangerous."
"I'm careful," they promise. "I have people who help me. Security. Plans. I wouldn't do this if I thought I couldn't handle it."
"But accidents happen. People make mistakes."
They pull back to look at me. "I know. Which is why I need to call Carver back right now. The longer I wait, the more dangerous it becomes for the people who need help."
I nod, releasing them even though every instinct is screaming at me to hold on, to keep them here where they're safe.
They pick up their phone and step into the other room. I can hear their voice, low and urgent, but I can't make out the words. I turn back to the kitchen, looking at our abandoned dinner. The vegetables are ruined, the rice probably overcooked by now.
It feels symbolic somehow. This perfect domestic evening, interrupted by reality. By the complexity of Royce's life that I'm only beginning to understand.
I hear them moving around in the bedroom, and a few minutes later they emerge in different clothes. Dark jeans, a black jacket, boots instead of their earlier comfortable attire. They look like they're preparing for something serious.
"You're going somewhere," I say.
"I have to. There's a transfer that needs to happen tonight, and the original coordinator can't do it. This isn’t what I usually have to handle. Circumstances are different tonight. I don't know how long I'll be. Could be a few hours."
"Can I come with you?"
