Page 99 of Catch
I have nothing to say to that, so I stand there as Silas walks away.
Part of me knows Silas is right. But the bigger part is scared shitless. I don’t know if I can take that kind of risk. It’s bad enough that Jett’s in my thoughts all day and in my bed all night. That I’ve told him things I don’t talk about with anyone else. That I’m anchored to him in a way I’ve never been with anyone I’ve slept with. What if I give voice to how he makes me feel, and he doesn’t feel the same? Or, if he does and we go for it, what if I screw up? I don’t want to do that to him—fuck everything up.
He deserves better. He deserves everything.
“You coming, Ethan?”
I startle at Dane’s voice and notice that my friend is standing beside me, giving me a concerned look.
“Yeah, sorry, I was lost in thought.”
Dane motions for me to get moving and we head for the exit.
“Looked like an intense convo with Si. Is this about Jett?”
I sigh.
“Not you too.”
We stalk out of the locker room and head down the chute to join our teammates. The noise of the crowd tells me the rink is wall-to-wall students. There’s nothing like the thrill of playing for a packed crowd.
“I think you and Jett make a great couple. You’re both intense, passionate, and determined when you want something.”
I cough and nudge my captain.
“Enough already. We’re not that.”
“Everyone can see it but you.”
“Why is my sex life the topic of team conversation?”
“Since when isn’t it?” Dane replies with one raised eyebrow. “You love to brag.”
“This is different,” I insist. “This is Jett.”
Dane slowly smiles at me.
“Oh, shut up.”
Jett
Hudson, Archie, and I managed to snag early seats for the hockey game, smack dab in the middle, at center ice. We have a great view, and while it’s not right behind the glass, we can see everything. I don’t want to get too close, because watching players get crushed into the boards makes me nervous.
Especially when one of the guys who might get crushed is the one I’m crushing on.
“Can you believe this crowd?” Archie says to me. “There’s not an empty seat in the house.”
Football’s been the most popular sport this week, followed by basketball, hockey, soccer, lacrosse, and rowing. I know we’re not the most visible sport, but we’ve had more than enough spectators at our rowing races, and so far we’ve won one and lost one. Today is break day and then it’s races Thursday and Friday, with the final round on Sunday. It’s kind of like the college version of the Olympics. The same thing with hockey. If the Cougars win today, they move on to the next round.
“There he is.” Hudson nudges me. “Your favorite player, number sixteen.”
The players take to the ice for their warmup, and even if Ethan wasn’t wearing a named jersey, I’d spot his smile a mile off. He and Dane are skating together, and when they pass by,I call out their names and offer a wave. They look up and wave back, and Ethan’s glance lingers on me. I feel my face heat, and my heart beats triple time. I tell myself it’s anticipation, spectator nerves. I’m denying my feelings for Ethan, so why not go all the way?
“Your boyfriend’s looking extra intense today,” Hudson whispers in my ear.
“He’s not my—” I pause and look around. “Don’t even start.”
“You’re so gone for him, Jett. I can tell.”
