“I did.He wasn’t always such a broody bastard.”
“I’ll have to take your word for that, and the information doesn’t change anything.I’m not going to let Sean kill me because I feel bad over something that happened nearly two millennia ago.I’m never going to be easy to kill.”
Fergal laughs, a deep rumble that bursts from his chest, and the sound makes me look at him more carefully.He’s massive, though I’ll never make the mistake of assuming that makes him less intelligent than the others.But neither is he any sort of a gentle giant.His hair is a dark auburn that curls around his face, and his eyes are a calm, blue-grey.There’s a dimple in his chin that looks like a child dented it with a finger.
“There’s nothing easy about you,” Fergal says.“That’s not a bad thing.The gods don’t hand out crowns foreasy.They give them to people who challenge the sun and the moon and make the universe pay attention.”
Leaning closer, he picks up my hand and brings the back of it to his lips.Then he’s gone without another word, a boulder who moves like a wraith.
Stunned and with no idea whether I should trust him, I sit with my arms wrapped around my knees for a while once he’s gone.
The conversation has made me restless.Winding the plaid tighter around my shoulders, I cross to an empty window in the wall that overlooks the sea, and stand staring out at the moonlight drifting across the water.
The Riders are scattered in various places around the castle.I feel them like different points of light, and I recognise Chyr’s as it moves towards me.It seems brighter than the others, warmer.I wonder whether that’s because I know him better, or whether that’s somehow a reflection of who he is.
The salt wind lifts strands of his pale hair, and his eyes look less gold in the moonlight.“I’ll sleep with the Riders and keep them away from you if you want.Unless you’d feel safer if I’m with you?”
My heart gives an unwelcome thud.“What would the others think of that?”
“I’ve threatened to kill more than one of them if they hurt you.I doubt they’d be surprised.”
“So you don’t threaten them over a girl every other day of the week?”
“No.”He smiles ruefully.“Not as a general rule.”
I’m silent for a moment, then I say, “Fergal told me something about how Siorai children age.When you joined the Anvar’thaine—when your uncle made you take those vows—how old would you have been in human years?”
“It’s not quite as simple as that.”
“Make it simple.”
“I don’t know.Thirteen?Fourteen?But don’t make excuses for me.”
“If I didn’t already see you, that answer would show me who you are.Bad people don’t go out of their way to seek out blame.”
“Royalty is royal from birth.We don’t get the indulgence of growing up soft and waiting to take on responsibilities.How old were you when you started helping to manage Dunhaelic?”
“That was my choice, and I’m not royal.”
“You’re wearing a crown.Two of them.”
“I was twelve.”
“You see?”Chyr’s voice is that deep, dangerous tone that curls around my spine, and he smiles and reaches down to brush a thumb across my cheek.
The truth is, I find everything about Chyr dangerously attractive.I’d like nothing more than to have a year to figure out all the ways he sets me on fire, whether that’s part of him being an Ever, or another part that’s simply him.
I don’t know what will happen when we get to Muilean—if we can even find a boat and get there.
“If I have to make a choice between the Riders—”
“I know.I wanted to do the honourable thing.To make it easy for you to choose someone else.That may just kill me.But I’ll do it if that’s what it takes for you to survive.I’ll do whatever it takes.Whatever you need.”He turns me to face him, his hands splaying at my waist as he pulls me flush against him.“Trust me, Fierceness.We’ll find a way through this.I have you.”
Chapter 38
Greys in the Mist
Flora