Page 26 of The Crown of Moonlight
I linger, studying the rise and fall of his chest, the parted lips, the dark lashes against fever-flushed cheeks.And for all that I want to dismiss Catriona’s fears, I can’t.
Seated in a darkened corner when the soldiers come, with a shawl drawn low over his face and us nearby to create distractions, the Ever might pass as a woman.But here, in my brother’s bed, with sunlight falling across his face, he is every cautionary tale mothers have told their daughters.Too clearly an Ever.
I’ve long since stopped praying to gods who abandoned us.Still, I send a silent plea to the Great Mother to spare us and let the queen’s soldiers pass by Dunhaelic to wreak their havoc elsewhere.
That sort of selfishness makes me feel guilty, but that’s a hard truth I’m discovering about survival.Most people matter to someone, yet not every death matters equally.Some weigh heavier on the scales of fate.
I know Dunhaelic remains a symbol of hope for many in the Highlands, but the more I consider what Chyr has told me, the more I’m certain the Raven Queen must be stopped.If Chyr can help make that happen, we need him to survive.
I’m more convinced than ever that this war between immortals wasn’t ours to fight.But we have made our choices, and I’m not blameless, either.
In hindsight, I should have ordered our remaining Dunhaelic men to come home after the twins were killed in the third battle of the war.
If I had, they might be here to defend their families now.But I wasn’t willing to test my authority before the Council met.I brought the crimson banner of Clan Domhnall home to Dunhaelic instead, and I gave the warriors the choice to continue fighting to avenge the dead, as long as they fought under the banners of the lesser Domhnall chiefs.
If I’d found the courage to be a true leader, I might have saved them.I can’t change that, but I can ensure I do not fail their families now.
Leaving Chyr to sleep, I climb to the solar with Rab at my heels, taking the letter for my mother with me.Rab waits outside when I enter the room, as though he remembers that he’s not welcome.
My mother’s head is bent over her embroidery beneath the circular window.The sun streams through the thick diamond-shaped panes of glass, casting prisms along her skin.She looks peaceful, unbothered.Innocent.That’s the advantage of escaping into a kinder reality beyond the reach of pain.
I don’t know how to prepare her for what’s coming.
My footsteps ring hollow as I cross the room, and I put on a smile that I hope looks more authentic than it feels.“I’ve brought a letter from your brother.With all that’s happening, I doubt it’s good news, but would you like me to read it to you?”
“That would be lovely.I long to hear news of him and the girls.It’s so unfair of your father never to take me to Caelsolas anymore.It’s been an age since I’ve last been shopping or heard a scrap of gossip.”
The wax snaps as I break the seal, and the parchment trembles in my hand.
My dearest sister,
If you haven’t heard yet, know that the queen’s armies have cut through the king’s forces at Culodur, sending all who survived to hide as best they may.It’s said the rebel king has taken ship for Eireen, there to remain until he can assemble enough gold and men to return.The queen sends her Butcher out with Greys and soldiers to punish all who might support the rebels on their return.Even here in the city, her soldiers go house-to-house, but the Highland clans like yours will feel her punishment most.She means to break them all.
Be warned, dear Sister.It can be only a matter of days before they reach you at Dunhaelic.We have narrowly escaped ourselves and mean to go south to find refuge.I urge you to let Flora help you do likewise.We shall pray for you both and hope to see you when we can, though I do not know when that might be.
I remain your loving brother, Eachann
A shiver runs through me as I finish reading.It isn’t merely punishment that Vheara seeks; it’s annihilation.She means to ensure the clans can never rise against her in the future.
But I can’t let the letter turn me into a simpering miss.There’s too much to do.
A small sound, almost like a choked sob, draws my attention back to my mother.Her embroidery hoop has fallen, forgotten, into her lap.Tears shine in her eyes, but when I go to her, she looks up and smiles with perfect calm.
“I do hope they will have a pleasant journey,” she says.“Do you suppose they shall go as far as the queen’s palace at Dunfithic?There will be such celebrations there.Could we not go with them, dearest?We must ask your father.He should be back soon, don’t you think so?”
I used to wonder how much of her refusal to live in the present was a deliberate choice, and now the doubt comes roaring back.I’ve tried to be enough for her, but I was never one of them: the four men who were her pride and joy.
My breath leaves me in a long, trembling sigh.
Does she know?I want to believe she doesn’t.
“It’s likely to be a long time before you see Father again,” I say, my throat squeezing around the words.“I did bring you some good news.Do you remember the visitor I mentioned?Rowan, Catriona’s niece, has finally arrived to be your companion.”
“She has?”For an instant, my mother stares at me, her expression inscrutable enough to be unsettling.“Where is she?It’s unkind of her to keep me waiting, I must say.”
“She caught a fever on the journey, but she’s eager to see you.”
My mother’s lips set in a determined line as she discards her embroidery on the bench.“Then I should go to her immediately.”
