Page 48 of Pregnancy Scandal
Chapter 15
Abby
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Iremembered when I was six and Gilly and I had to make the jump from kindergarten to elementary school. I remembered it well because up until then, we’d always been together.
In nursery school and kindergarten, we were that girl and the boy who were always together, always holding hands. People always made the mistake of thinking we were related. When we were little, we didn’t look all that different too because we had the same color hair and similar eye color. I had light blue eyes, and his were a silvery gray that looked bluer when he was a child.
That whole time, he’d held my hand, always there for me. When we got to elementary school, however, we had to split and were placed in different classes.
I was devastated and acted out because of it.
I never cried at all when my parents took me to nursery school for the first time because I had him. They never experienced what other parents went through with a crying child who didn’t want to be left alone, because I had Gilly.
That whole first week of elementary school was a disaster because it felt like I’d lost him. It was a rough time for me.
The following week came and I had the worse anxiety ever. I’d never forget it. I wouldn’t forget either that Monday morning, when Gilly’s dad brought him to the house to pick me up. When we got to school, the anxiety came back because I knew we’d have to part. He’d go to his class, and I’d go to mine. We wouldn’t see each other until playtime.
I burst into tears, and he took my hand and said, “Just imagine me holding your hand. I’ll always be holding your hand, so don’t be afraid.”
Magic words, because they worked.
Worked like a charm. Worked not just for that moment between us at six years old but continued to this day whenever I got nervous about something. All I had to do was think of him. Think of him holding my hand, and I’d be fine. Over the years, I’d gotten to understand that he didn’t have to be physically touching me. Gilly was always in my heart, my mind, and my soul.
Always there, and his words forever played in my mind.
Those words from all those years ago, and from last night. Him promising me he’d always be there, always holding my hand.
I sat in my car across the street from his house looking and contemplating.
I’d decided this morning that despite my fears, I wanted to be with him.
My problem had always been that I gave up too easily. No matter what I did, I gave up when I had to fight because I was afraid of losing. It was the same situation here now.
I was afraid to lose Gilly to Giselle. In my mind, I’d recalled how he was when he was with her and how he’d looked when he was without her. I feared he would never love me like that. This morning, it hit me hard that the way Gilly looked when he was with me was very unlike the way he looked when he’d been with anyone else.
That look was just for me. That look told me he was mine, and it didn’t matter who he’d been with in the past. We were what we were now. We were what that little girl and that boy evolved into, and I wanted it. I wanted to see where we would go and what more we could be.
I knew that to do it I had to try.
Yes… the fears were all still there. This was about risk and taking that leap of faith. Holding on tight to hope and what you wanted most.
I’d been here for about fifteen minutes. It was after lunch, so he would be home. My first task was to apologize and tell him I wanted option A more than life itself, and I didn’t just want it for the baby.
I wanted it for him. I wanted him. I wanted to tell him that option B wasn’t an option.
I got out of the car and made my way to the front door. I had a key but thought it was best to ring the bell.
As I waited, I heard light footsteps on the other side of the door.
When the door opened, my mouth dropped as Giselle stood before me wearing one of Gilly’s shirts.
Hair tasseled with a wicked smile on her face, she looked me over with that mischief in her eyes.
“Abby, hey, there,” she cooed. “My gosh, I thought you were Gilly, thought he forgot his keys again.” She laughed.
I just stared.
