Page 62 of Double Edged Hearts
Chapter Eighteen
Cora
Night fell long ago.
It’s nearly eleven, but Alex insists on making me food.
We’re in the kitchen. He’s standing behind the kitchen counter in just his boxers, and I’m sitting down across from him in one of the high stools admiring his body.
I’m wearing an oversized T-shirt we found in the stash of clothes, and panties. My bra is torn, and the shirt I wore is no more. It’s hotter tonight, so I decided not to wear pants.
This is the first we’ve left that bed. Earlier, he made me some seasoned rice. That’s what he called it. We ate that then went back to feasting on each other. Now he’s making soup.
I don’t know what food we have here, but he’s got some fresh vegetables laid out on the countertop. He got them from the vegetable plot in the back garden. I haven’t seen it yet, but it sounds interesting, and these are probably going to be the freshest vegetables I’ve ever had.
I haven’t forgotten what I want. Not how much I want him and how much I still want to call Richard. I’m just not talking about it because I don’t want to make Alex mad again. I’m hoping my words got to him. I think they did and he’s still figuring things out.
He’s not a coward, and neither am I.
I didn’t sign up to the Bureau to run off like this at the first sign of trouble. But then, I don’t think many people experience trouble like this. I went looking for it, and it came to bite me big time.
Honestly, now that I think of it, I don’t know if I could go back. Do I even have a choice?
I look at the man I want standing before me, and when I think of how much I love him, I don’t think I can be without him.
I can’t be a fed and be with a mobster. Even if I kept it quiet it wouldn’t work out, and I wouldn’t want to go back to having a secret relationship with him. That’s not what I want.
At the same time, am I really the fed I claim to be? In the end I had to hone in on my skills to get down to the crux of the matter. The situation is shit and doing what I did landed me here. On the run and hiding out.
I’d be lying, however, if I said it didn’t feel good to be myself. I started to feel like my old self right from when I made the ghost tracker. Doing so felt like I was using skills I’d been suppressing for years. Then when I looked through Zack and Matvey’s computer files it felt like I was doing the job I was supposed to be doing simply because I was doing something no one else could do. That did not escape me.
Now that I’ve had time to think about everything, I know if I want to be truly happy and have the future I want, I don’t want to do anything that keeps me on a leash. The Bureau has all sorts of people working for them in different capacities. I’m sure I’d fit in somewhere, but it’s just that I saw myself as my own boss. In control and in charge, taking charge of a situation and knowing what to do. More importantly, just doing it because it was required to solve the problem. I hate being controlled, or having any kind of restraint on me. I hate needing permission.
As much as I love making Richard proud and doing something we both enjoy, I can’t be somebody I’m not.
So I guess that leaves me with the question of what I’m going to do next. Now’s not the time, though, to think of that. Not when things are like this.
“What are you thinking, Goddess?” he states and gives me a wink.
“Just about stuff, and looking at you.” I bite back a smile and allow my gaze to drift over the hard definition of his body. I’ve never been with a man more perfect.
I didn’t even know people could look like that in real life.
He stops chopping the potatoes and walks around to me with that sexy smile on his face. A blush creeps up my cheeks as I recall all we did today. We went crazy on each other, and I know once we eat, there’s more to come. We indulged in each other. The perfect distraction, although my worries were never far.
They are there now even as I sit here and think about what we’re going to do. He must know we can’t just hide away here forever.
He rests his hand on the countertop and leans close to me. “Are you thinking of all the things you want to do to me?” he asks with a sexy smile.
“Maybe.”
He reaches for the hem of my T-shirt and lifts it so he can see my panties. Lightly, he runs a finger over the lacey edge then over the lace covering my mound.
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of all your needs once you eat,” he promises.
Heat flushes over my body in waves, pulling on my groin, and wetness pools between my thighs.
He moves back to the other side and continues chopping the vegetables.
