Page 48 of After the Fire
“Like a moth to a flame,” he whispered. He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me softly. “You were always so focused, so confident in what you were doing and what you knew. You never let anyone in, but at the same time youbelonged. It always felt like you were there for a purpose, and then you were out.”
“I was,” I said. “I thought then that was what mattered. I was told that was what mattered.” But I was realizing it wasn’t that way. Nothing really mattered if you were alone. “I don’t feel that way anymore.”
“Maybe not right now,” he said softly. “Maybe right now you feel defeated. But you used to walk into a room and heads would turn. When you spoke, everyone paid attention to what you said.” He placed his hand on my chest, and my heart started pounding inside. “I always admired that, how confident you are, comfortable.”
“I don’t know,” I replied. “It’s like all my life I’ve been this person that was ruled by my family’s expectations of me. And that Victoria that you’re describing doesn’t exist anymore because I’m now realizing that I need to live for me, for my expectations and my desires, you know?”
He smiled, his forehead now resting on mine. “That’s my girl.”
* * *
We walked hand in hand across the square and to his parents’ home. The town was quiet; a few people were on the streets walking to lunch. It was a unique thing, watching this town transform in front of my very eyes every day. It went from bustling and happy to lazy and quiet in a matter of hours. Every single resident took their lunch break seriously, the town paralyzed by it every single day of the year.
“It’s so weird how everything stops for lunch compared to the city,” I said, looking around as the pharmacist flipped the open sign and locked the door behind her. She looked up and waved at Santiago, giving us both a big smile before she went in the opposite direction to us. “It’s not something I’m used to at all.”
“Yep,” he said, popping thep. “But it can get annoying if you are used to things moving quickly.”
“I think it’s charming.”
It took us only a few minutes to arrive at his family home, and he walked in like he belonged. There were noises coming from the kitchen, and the faint laughter got louder as we walked to the back. Santiago’s parents were sitting at the kitchen table, looking casual and relaxed.
“What?” I whispered to Santiago. “Everyone is here.” I felt my cheeks heat just as Santiago tightened his hold on my hand.
“Yeah, it’s fine,” he said and dragged me inside. His mother smiled wide and stood.
“You made it.” Her comment was completely nonchalant and friendly, like this happened every day, showing up with no notice. “Grab a plate. We just started eating.”
If it hadn’t been obvious before, it was obvious now, the contrast between my family and his. Not in a million years would I be welcomed this way if I showed up unannounced to my grandmother’s house, not even for a casual lunch. I wasn’t sure exactly what Susana did every day for lunch, but I doubt she ever sat at the kitchen table, close to the help. Susana also wouldn’t be caught dead standing up for a guest—if you arrived atherhome, you were responsible for greeting her. But this family was the exact opposite. Not even flinching at our presence here.
His mom approached us, and I let go of Santiago’s hand. “Victoria, it’s so nice to see you again.” She smiled and closed the gap between the two of us, moving close enough to give me a kiss on the cheek. It was so genuine, so relaxed. Like she greeted everyone this way.
“Hola, ma,” he said. She repeated the motion with her son, squeezing his bicep a little before letting go. Santiago smiled and then walked over to the kitchen island to get some food. He grabbed a plate from the stack next to the food and held it out to me, his expectant gaze prompting me out of my stupor.
“Vee,” he said as he cocked his head, inviting me over to his side.
“¡Mamá!”There was a loud bang of a door closing, followed by hurried steps towards the back of the house. “Sorry I’m late, a patien—” Lucía stopped and beamed at me. She followed that up with a light jog towards me and a sound that could only be described as a squeal. “You’re here! I didn’t know you were coming for lunch today.”
“That makes two of us,” I mumbled. But her smile and her genuine joy at seeing me were contagious. She hugged me like she hadn’t seen me in months, and even for only having met a few days ago, it was a welcome gesture. “Hi,” I added as she released me and grabbed a plate.
She started talking nonstop about her day in the most casual of ways. Lucía moved naturally in her parents’ kitchen; there wasn’t a sign of discomfort in her movements. I had lived in my grandmother’s house until I was out of college, but I couldn’t remember ever feeling like that house belonged to me. Like it was a home. This, this was a home. To anyone, it seemed, because they welcomed me with open arms.
The lunch was lazy and slow, much like the town at this time. The family members shared their days, their weekend plans, and talked about how they could support some of the neighbors who were going through a rough patch. I was mesmerized by the moment.
“Victoria,” Santiago’s mother asked. “How are you enjoying your visit here?” She smiled, and her eyes crinkled, just like her son’s.
“It’s so nice here,” I responded. “I love how quiet it is.”
I looked at Santiago sitting right next to me. His eyes were fixed on my lips, and I instinctively licked them. He moved his hand, slowly raising it, his body following the movement. The next thing I knew, his thumb was tugging at my lower lip and his lips were on my ear. “You have a little something here,” he rasped. His low voice made me shiver.
I blinked and from the corner of my eye saw Lucía bite her lip as if to contain her smile—maybe another squeal. My heart was beating fast. When did this man looking at me make me nervous like this?
I cleared my throat and looked at his mom, who was smiling widely at us, a glint in her eye. “Dessert, anyone?” She stood and started clearing the table, stacking the plates by the sink. She moved slowly to the fridge and explored the contents, pulling out a few bowls of fresh fruit. She set everything down on the kitchen island and then grabbed a few strawberries and placed them in a bowl. “The fruit is really good this time of year,” she said, smiling at me.
I took a deep breath. The whole situation confused me.
Santiago stood to clear his plate, and Lucía used the opportunity to sit right next to me, immediately looking at me and smiling mischievously, like she was hiding a secret. “What’s up?” she said. “I haven’t seen you in forever.”
I laughed out loud. “We had lunch yesterday,” I said in between giggles.
