Page 24 of Loving Josy
“That night, I did show up. I got to the tavern and saw you outside talking to a woman.” I pause, feeling the old hurt resurface. “I overheard you. You said I was nothing to you.”
Noah’s brow furrows, confusion clouding his face. “What? I never?—”
“You don’t remember?” I cut him off, shaking my head. “You called her ‘Honey,’ and you told her you couldn’t wait for her to ride you.”
Recognition flickers across his face, and he seems stunned into silence.
“That’s why I left, Noah. Because you thought so little of me. Our friendship meant nothing to you.” My voice cracks, and I look away, swallowing the lump in my throat. “But hearing yousay all that to your Honey? It was like someone dumped ice water over my head. I felt humiliated. So, I left. Those words haunted me so much that I didn’t know how to talk to you again. I guess time passed and I just stayed away.” I know I am not saying the whole truth, but I can’t just tell him that I was in love with him. He can’t know that I am still in love with him. There’s no point in that.
Noah rubs his hand over his face, clearly wrestling with what I’ve just said. “Josy, I’m... I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I was young and stupid. I thought you were one of my best friends. That woman you heard me talking to?Shewas no one. I don’t even remember her name. I... I slept around a lot back then, especially when you were away at college. But none of them ever meant anything.”
I glare at him, my annoyance obvious. He holds up his hands in defense. “I know. That doesn’t make it okay. I was an idiot.”
“Well, now you know.” I take a deep breath, bracing myself for what I have to say next. “But don’t think anything’s changed.”
“What do you mean?” His voice tightens.
“I mean don’t think that just because we had sex, it means we’re something more now.” I need to be clear. “I’m not expecting anything from you, Noah. I’m just another woman you’ve slept with. That’s it. I don’t have any illusions about you suddenly falling in love with me, because I don’t expect it. I can’t.”
“First of all, you are not just some random woman. Let’s get that straight.” Noah’s voice is firm but gentle, his eyes locking with mine. “I’m not expecting anything from you, but I know what happened wasn’t just a spur-of-the-moment thing. We both wanted it.” He pauses, running a hand through his tousled hair. “I’m no saint, and yeah, I’ve slept around when I was younger. But Josy, I’m a thirty-five-year-old man now. I know what I want.WhoI want. I’m ready.”
I blink, confused. “You’re ready for what?” What is he saying? Does he really expect me to believe that now, after all this time, he’s suddenly interested in me? That just because we had sex, we can start a relationship? Just like that? No way. Today was just a meaningless fuck. Nothing more.
Noah sighs, clearly frustrated, but his voice stays calm. “I’m ready to commit, Josy. Ready to start a family. I’m tired of being alone. And if I’m being honest, I’ve been alone most of my life, even when I was with someone. I kinda felt that I belong to someone else.” He leans in slightly, his eyes searching mine. “So no, what happened today wasn’t meaningless to me. It could be the beginning of something real. Don’t you think?”
There’s hope in his eyes, a vulnerability I’ve never seen before.
Chapter Twelve
Noah
Ilook straight into her beautiful dark eyes, hoping she sees the truth in mine. I need her to know that what I’m saying is real, that my feelings for her are real. What happened between us earlier is proof of that. There's something undeniable between us, something that could be magnificent if she’d just let it happen. But as I search her eyes, I notice the resistance. She doesn’t believe me, or maybe she’s just too afraid to accept what we could have.
“Sweetheart,” I murmur, my voice low, almost pleading. “Answer me, please. I need to know what you’re thinking.”
Josy stays silent, her gaze locked on mine. The pause stretches between us, thick with tension, and it feels like a lifetime before she finally speaks.
“I don’t think this is going to work,” she says, her voice firm. “Let’s just go back to being friends and leave it at that.”
I shake my head, refusing to accept her words. I lean closer, slowly placing my hands on either side of her face. The second I touch her, I feel her breath hitch. Her warmth seeps into me like a jolt to my heart. How is she denying this? How is she pretending that we can be just friends when the air between us is practically on fire?
“You want to be friends again?” I ask, my voice rough as I gently stroke her cheeks with my thumbs. Her skin is soft, and I want to get lost in the feel of it, in her.
Josy’s lips part and her breath quickens, but she doesn’t pull away. I take that as a good sign.
“You can’t really mean that,” I say softly, my forehead almost touching hers. “Not after what we just shared.”
I see her eyes flicker, a mix of emotions swirling there: desire, fear, doubt. It’s all there, plain as day. She wants this just like I do, but something’s holding her back. Maybe it’s fear, maybe it’s the past, but I’m not about to let her push me away that easily.
“Josy,” I say, my voice deepening with the weight of what I’m feeling. “We’re not just friends. We never have been. And after today? There’s no going back. I don’t want to go back.”
Her breath hitches again, but she doesn’t respond. I feel her start to tremble under my touch, her body betraying what her words won’t admit.
“I’m not asking for everything right now,” I whisper. “But I’m not letting you pretend like this didn’t mean something. Because it did. It does.”
Her eyes meet mine, and for the briefest moment, I see the truth. She wants me. She wants us.
But then, just as quickly, she closes herself off again, pulling away slightly.
