Page 23 of Loving Josy
“Josy?” His voice is a little firmer this time, trying to get me to look at him.
But I can’t. I can’t do this. Not right now.
Without saying a word, I start to gather my clothes, slipping them on as quickly as I can. My hands are shaking, but I manage to get dressed. I can feel Noah’s eyes on me the whole time, but I don’t dare meet his gaze. If I do, I’ll crumble. I’ll fall apart right here in front of him, and I can’t afford to do that.
“Josy, wait—what’s going on?” Noah sounds genuinely confused, his voice laced with concern, but I don’t stop. I can’t.
I grab my bag and bolt for the door, my heart in my throat as I flee the building, leaving Noah behind without so much as a glance back.
I rush to my car and take a deep brath once inside. My hands are trembling as I turn the ignition and start driving. In my hurry, I didn’t even clean myself, and I can feel Noah's cum soaking through my panties. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I mutter, hitting the steering wheel in frustration. I need to stop and get cleaned up.
Spotting a gas station near the exit to the highway that leads back to Honey Springs, I pull over and park. I rush inside, heading straight to the bathroom. As I clean myself, the reality of the situation starts to sink in. What the fuck was I thinking? What’s going to happen now?
Composing myself, I leave the bathroom and continue the trip home. I don’t know what I will be doing with Noah. I don’t know if I should keep avoiding him or just talk to him. I know he has questions, and I don’t know if I want to answer them.
Since I bolted without a word, Noah’s been texting and calling non-stop. I’ve ignored every single one of his calls and texts. I don’t even know what to say to him. Does he realize how much he scared the hell out of me? The way he surrounded me, how his eyes bore into mine while he was deep inside me that I could see the raw desire he has for me. If I ever doubted his attraction, those doubts are gone now.
The whole drive back home, I couldn’t stop replaying everything in my head; his kisses, his filthy words, the way his body felt against mine. It was everything I imagined it would be, and then some.
And now? I’m more lost than ever.
I’ve spent the better part of a decade avoiding him, trying my best to move on, and now I have no idea how we ended up having sex in the kitchen of my new shop.
Now that I’m home, in the safety of my own space, I can finally breathe. I head to the back porch and settle into one of the old rocking chairs. The view of the mountains stretches out in front of me, untouched and beautiful, like it always has been.This view has always calmed me. I used to sit here with my nana, both of us just soaking in the moment. We didn’t speak much, just enjoyed each other’s company.
I miss my grandparents fiercely. Life without them is not the same. I shake my head, trying to push the sadness away. Even though the pain has softened over the years, I know I’ll never forget them.
I lean back in the chair and ponder my next move. There’s no avoiding Noah forever, not after today. Not after everything we shared. But what now? I’m so lost in thought, I don’t hear the footsteps approaching until it’s too late.
"Hey." A deep voice pulls me from my thoughts, making me jump. I turn, startled, and see Noah standing at the edge of my porch. He looks beautiful with the mountains behind him, like a painting come to life. He’s still wearing the same clothes from earlier, but now he looks worn-out, his hair a mess from running his hands through it.
I take a deep breath, locking eyes with him. “Hey,” I reply, my voice soft.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice laced with concern.
“Yeah, I think so.”
“I was really worried, Josy. You left so fast, and I didn’t know what else to do.”
“I guess I didn’t know what to do either. I just... needed to leave and think. Everything happened so fast.”
“I know.” That’s all Noah says as he steps closer. His eyes flick to the chair beside me, and I nod, giving him permission to sit.
“Can you tell me what happened?” His voice is so gentle.
I take another deep breath and force myself to meet his gaze. “I told you, I needed to think. You were too close, and when you’re that close, I can’t seem to think.” I offer a small, nervous smile.
He doesn’t return it. “I mean what happened to us. Why did you stop talking to me all those years ago?”
I turn to look at him, his question taking me by surprise. After all this time, now he wants to know? He never brought it up before. I stare into his eyes, and the truth hits me like a wave. How could I ever have thought I’d forget him? Noah wasn’t just my first crush, he’s the only man I’ve ever loved.Stilllove.
“I don’t know,” I lie, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Come on, Josy. You do know.” His tone softens, but there’s a weight behind it. “We’ve been friends since high school. I remember that night clearly when we supposed to meet at Honey Tavern, but you never showed. I waited for you all night, called you, texted you. I even went to your school. But you ignored me. After a few weeks, I got the hint and backed off.” He pauses, watching me closely. “It broke my heart. I lost one of my best friends and never knew why. What happened?”
I close my eyes for a moment, steadying myself. It’s time to give him something, even if it’s not the whole truth. “You want the truth?”
“Always.”
