Page 26 of Loving Josy
"Hey, Noah, you good?" Austin asks, breaking through my thoughts. "You’ve been quiet all morning."
Esteban looks over at me with a smirk. "Yeah, you’re usually quick to jump in when I talk about my conquests. What’s up?"
I shake my head and cast my line again. "Nothing. Just thinking."
"About Josy?" Esteban presses, not one to back down. He knows me too well.
I sigh, running a hand through my hair. "Yeah."
Austin leans forward, curiosity written all over his face. "So what’s going on with you two? You finally make a move?"
"Sort of." I hesitate, then decide to tell them what’s been eating at me. "I found out why she stopped being friends with me all those years ago."
"Seriously?" Austin asks.
I nod, the memory of Josy’s words still fresh in my mind. "Yeah. She overheard me while I was talking to a girl that I don’t even remember. The thing is, she heard me call our friendship nothing, that Josy was no one.” I say making air quotation marks. “I basically dismissed my best friend because I wanted to get laid. I told her that I was young and that I didn’t mean it like that. I guess I hurt her feelings and that’s why she ghosted me.” I don’t mention to them that we had sex. They don’t need to know that so I keep that to myself.
Esteban whistles low. “Damn, man. That’s rough.”
“Yeah, no kidding,” I say, staring out at the river. “She thought I didn’t care about her.”
Austin’s quiet for a moment before he speaks. “So what now? You two talk it out?”
“We talked,” I say slowly, “but it’s complicated. She wants to be friends again, and I agreed. But…” I trail off, unsure of how to put it into words.
“But you want more,” Esteban finishes for me, like he’s reading my mind.
“Yeah.” I nod. “I don’t know, man. It’s just… It’s Josy, you know? I’ve wanted her for so long, and now that I’ve finally realize what she means to me, I can’t just go back to being her friend. But if that’s what she needs right now, I’ll do it. I’ll wait."
Austin slaps a hand on my shoulder. "You’re a good guy, Noah. If anyone can make this work, it’s you. Just give her time."
Esteban grins, casting his line again. "Yeah, man. And if all else fails, you know where to find me. I’ll hook you up with someone to take your mind off things."
I laugh despite myself. "Thanks, but I’m good." Even with their joking and support, my thoughts circle back to Josy. No matter how hard I try to focus on fishing, she’s all I can think about.
Chapter Thirteen
Josy
I’m hyper-focused on cleaning the pastry display, needing to keep my hands busy, needing to distract myself from the one person who’s been occupying too much space in my mind. It’s been two week since I last saw him. The truth is, I’m relieved. At least, that’s what I tell myself. But deep down, I know the real reason I’m avoiding him.
I want to see him. I want to feel his presence, hear his deep voice, and catch that crooked smile of his. But I can’t. Not after what happened. Not after I told him that I just wanted to be his friend. There are some moments during the day I am happy with that decision, but others I curse myself. I had the opportunity to explore something with the love of my life and, like an idiot, I let my insecurities and fear to say no.What a dumb bitch!
He’s supposed to finish the renovations on the shop soon, and I’ve been doing everything I can to stay away until it’s completely done. I can't afford to have another moment like last Saturday. One more touch, one more heated look, and I’m afraid I’ll completely lose control. My heart might want it, but my mind is determined to keep a tight grip on the reins.
My body doesn’t seem to care about my head’s resolve, though. Every time I think about him, my skin tingles, andmy pulse picks up. It’s frustrating. I can't let myself fall into that again. I’ve spent years building this wall between us, years trying to move on, and one day, one incredible, heated, heart-wrenching day almost tore it all down.
No. I shake my head, scrubbing at a stubborn spot on the glass. I won’t let myself go there. I can’t. I’ve worked too hard to let Noah invade all my thoughts like that again.
As I wipe the glass in hard, determined strokes, I try to force myself to think of anything else. The shop, the pastries I’ll bake tomorrow, the new tables I want to order—anything but the way Noah looked at me, touched me, made me feel like I was the only woman in the world for him.
But it’s no use. He’s everywhere, in every corner of my mind, in every space I turn to for relief. There’s no escaping Noah. And I guess if I don’t do something soon, these feelings will eat me alive.
“I think that’s pretty clean.” Violet’s voice cuts through my thoughts, startling me out of my trance.
I blink, looking at the pastry display that’s been spotless for the last five minutes. "Oh. Yeah, I just want it to be perfect." I try to sound casual, hoping she doesn’t catch on to the whirlwind going on inside me.
Violet raises an eyebrow, folding her arms as she leans against the counter. “Are you okay?”
