Page 28 of Melting His Grumpy Heart
“I told you about Cooper because I trust you.” Ru took a small step forward. “Yes, I felt stupid and betrayed. Belittled. It’s still bloody painful, because how can it not be? I might be battered and bruised but I’m not broken.”
As Jake gazed down into Ru’s steady, clear eyes, his resolve wavered. He wanted to possess as much as protect, to take as much as to care for. His body screamed for one thing as his conscience argued for the other.
Ru had called him an honourable man.
“I still won’t take advantage,” he said, the words strained. “Of the situation. Of you.”
“That’s very noble,” Ru said, no mockery in his tone despite the words. “But have you considered that maybeImight want to take advantage ofyou?”
The unexpected response sent a fresh surge of heat through Jake’s body, making his hands clench at his sides. “Ru—” he started, his voice a warning even to his own ears.
“I’m clearly the corrupting influence here.”
Ru stared up at him, all huge eyes and unruly dark hair. Jake brushed aside an errant lock.
“A corrupting influence? You?” Jake smiled, the idea so ridiculous he couldn’t help it. The man was irredeemably cute, and as corrupting as a tiny puppy.
“Well, I was trying,” Ru admitted, meeting Jake’s smile with one of his own. “Not very successfully, it seems.”
The moment of levity was welcome, but the underlying tension remained, his body still acutely aware of Ru’s proximity, of what they’d started and not finished. The desire hadn’t diminished; if anything, Ru’s playful approach had only intensified it, adding a new layer to his attraction.
“It’s not that I don’t want…” Jake began, then faltered, searching for words. “I don’t want to rush into something that might…” He trailed off, unable to voice the fear that had beengrowing alongside his desire: that this connection might be as fragile as it was intense, that it might not survive outside the crucible of the storm.
Ru wasn’t just looking at him, he was studying, seeing beneath the skin, making Jake feel naked and exposed.
“This isn’t only about protecting me, is it?”
Jake looked away; Ru had seen through him as if he were transparent. “Maybe not,” he admitted.
“Because you’ve been hurt, too.”
“This isn’t about my past.”
“Isn’t it?” Ru asked, his voice quiet but level. “Because it feels like you’re keeping as much distance from your own feelings as you are from mine.”
The insight was too accurate, cutting too close to the bone. He relied on control, on clear boundaries, the foundations of his life after the forces, after everything that had followed. The chaos of desire, of emotional connection, didn’t fit neatly into those parameters.
Jake wanted, needed, to step away from temptation, from heat, from the ache of want, but his feet were lead, and fused to the floor. “I don’t trust myself to stop if we start again,” he said, his voice rough with honesty.
Ru gazed up at him, making Jake’s chest tighten so much it was hard to breathe. “That sounds more like a promise than a warning.”
Jake’s control frayed further as he rested his palm against Ru’s cheek, his thumb brushing across Ru’s cheekbone. Soft skin, rough stubble, the warmth beneath his palm, sent another wave of desire through Jake’s body.
“Ru,” he said, his voice tight. “I’m trying to do the right thing here.” He lowered his hand from Ru’s face, taking a small step back. How could the right thing feel so wrong? Yet he’d backed away, he’d made his decision even if the loss of contact was areal and physical pain. “Not tonight. Not like this. Not when you have no real choice about where you are and who you’re with. Not when you have nowhere else to go.” True words, every single one, but they tore at Jake’s throat and he swore he could taste blood.
They looked at each other in the soft, flickering light, the air between them still charged, sparking with electricity. Yet, despite everything he’d said, Jake knew his resolve was built on shifting ground.
Ru nodded. “Okay. I understand even if you think I don’t. And even if I disagree.” His lips lifted in a resigned smile. “I know it’s still early, but it’s been quite a day, so I think I’d like to go to bed now, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course.” Alone, when it didn’t have to be that way. But it did. For now it absolutely did.
“Take a lamp with you, and mind how you go.”
Seconds later, Ru was gone. Jake collapsed into the sofa, hearing every creak of the stair treads and floorboards, the bedroom door pushed closed.
He’d done the right thing. Even though his body railed at him for a fool, he’d done the right thing.
As he stared into the fire, he had to make himself believe it.
