Page 13 of Defying the Crown
I let out a shuddering breath, feeling like a weight had lifted from my chest. "You really think so?"
"I know so." She squeezed my hand again, her smile radiant. "The world is changing, big brother. And when you're ready, I'll be right there beside you, cheering you on as you show everyone the incredible man I've always known you to be."
I fidgeted with my napkin, feeling embarrassed at my reaction to her unequivocal support. Her unconditional love felt amazing, and yet I still wondered if it would be enough if the truth was exposed about me.
Deciding to change the subject to something lighter, I took a deep breath. "So in other news, I...I made a friend. Online."
Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Really? That's wonderful! Tell me more."
I couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. "We met on a forum Ingrid suggested. We've been talking a lot, about everything really. Mostly about life, and personal stuff..."
Ella leaned forward, her interest piqued. "Personal stuff? Like what?"
I shrugged, feeling a bit self-conscious. "Just...struggles, I guess. Things I don't really talk about with anyone else."
Her expression softened. "Harald, that's huge. I'm so glad you've found someone you can open up to."
But then her brow furrowed slightly. "Just...be careful, okay? Remember who you are. I don't want you getting hurt or taken advantage of."
I nodded, understanding her concern. "I know, Ells. I'm being cautious. I haven't told them who I really am."
She tilted her head. "What do you mean? Who do they think they're speaking to?"
I swallowed hard. "They don't know I'm...you know, a prince. I just told them that I come from a wealthy family and don't work, apart from being involved in the family's charitable ventures."
Ella reached across the table to squeeze my hand. "Harald, you don't have to hide who you are. If this person is a true friend, they'll accept you, all of you."
I withdrew my hand, my head moving side to side. "Things are more complicated than that, Ella. I'm different from everyone else. I'll never measure up - not in Father's eyes, not as heir to the crown. Here, in this one space where my identity is unknown, I don't have to stress about people cozying up to me just because of my social status and royal background. I will just be myself to him, and if that isn't good enough then I guess that's just a sign for what's to come down the road."
My voice cracked on the last word and I blinked back the sudden sting of tears. Ella's face crumpled with sympathy.
"Oh, Harald. Don't you see how incredible you are? You have such a good heart, such strength. Anyone would be lucky to know the real you."
I wanted to believe her, I did. But the doubts lingered, the fear of judgment and rejection.
"I don't know, Ells. It's just...it's easier this way. To keep that part of myself hidden."
She sighed, but her eyes were full of understanding. "I get it, I do. But promise me you'll think about it, okay? About being yourself, fully and unapologetically. Because the world deserves to know the amazing man and big brother I see in front of me."
Her words wrapped around me like a warm hug, soothing the frayed edges of my nerves. I felt a small smile tug at the corners of my mouth. "Thanks, sis. I don't know what I'd do without you."
Ella grinned, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Probably wallow in self-doubt and never leave your room."
I laughed, the sound surprising me. "Probably."
She leaned forward, her expression turning playful. "So, this new friend of yours. Is he cute?"
I felt my cheeks flush, and I ducked my head. "I don't know. We haven't exchanged pictures or anything."
Ella waggled her eyebrows. "Well, maybe you should ask for one. You know, for research purposes."
I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. "You're impossible."
She shrugged, unrepentant. "Just looking out for my big brother's love life."
I shook my head, but the warmth of her support, her unwavering love, settled into my bones. For the first time in a long time, I felt a flicker of hope in my chest. Maybe, just maybe, I could do this. I could be myself, even if it was just with one person for now.
And with Ella by my side, cheering me on, anything felt possible.
