Page 72 of This Life and All the Rest
My smile hurts my cheeks as I watch them embrace, my eyes stinging slightly. When I glance at Lennon, my heart sinks. Tears are steadily falling down her cheeks, and she looks so torn.
I can’t even imagine how she must be feeling. Out of place? Like she doesn’t belong? Is she happy or sad right now? Jealous? Guilty?
I sidestep to her without thinking and slide my arm over her shoulders. She doesn’t flinch or move away. To my surprise, she actually melts into my side, and I let myself pull her tighter into me. I feel her tense briefly when Trent looks at us, but his immediate smile relaxes her.
“Pumpkin,” he says softly, then stretches out the arm not holding on to Evie. “Come here.”
She sniffles and rushes to him, sitting lightly on the side of the hospital bed and collapsing into his outstretched arm.
The whole room is quiet, just the sounds of soft crying coming from Lennon and my mom, and then Evie breaks the tension by climbing up and slobbering a kiss onto Lennon’s cheek.
“There are my girls,” Trent says with a laugh, beaming at Lennon and Evie, and for some reason, my eyes flick to Claire.
She’s been mostly silent, standing in the corner of the room, and now I know why.
She’s watching the whole interaction with a furrowed brow. Not anger. Maybe some jealousy, but mostly just...hurt. Loss. Longing.
I glance back at the hospital bed.
Trent smiles and laughs with his two blood daughters. They both resemble him in a way Claire never will. They belong to him in a way she and I can’t, and I know that bothers her.
Since the day Trent married my mom, he’s always called Claire and me his kids. Nostepinvolved.
It’s always,have you met my daughter, Claire?
Or, This is my son, Macon.
It’s never been,these are my stepkids,ormeet my wife’s children.
But all of Trent’s affection doesn’t change the fact that we weren’t good enough for our biological father. I’ve come to terms with that in recent years, but it’s something Claire is still struggling with it seems.
My therapist summed it up for me a while back.
Claire has abandonment issues. She wants to be someone’s first choice, and her insecurities complicate everything. She bites first, so she doesn’t get bitten.
Before therapy, I just thought Claire was a bitch.
After therapy, I still think she’s a bitch, but I understand her better now.
My mom says something, pulling my thoughts away from Claire, and Trent laughs. When I look to him, his attention is already on me.
“Has my girl been giving you trouble?” he asks with a grin, and my eyes immediately flick to Lennon. “Since you’ve beenbabysitting,” Trent clarifies, and my shoulders loosen.
“She’s an absolute terror,” I say jokingly, and Evelyn squeals as if she knows I’m talking about her.
“Actually,” I say, flicking my eyes to Lennon before stepping up and holding out my hands for Evie, “the squirt has something she’d like to show you.”
Lennon sits up straighter and a smile stretches across her face. I nod to the space on the floor a few feet from me, and Lennon moves to that spot without argument, immediately crouching down on her knees.
“Alright, Squirt,” I say to Evie, “let’s show Dada the surprise you’ve been saving for him.”
I bend over and set Evie on her feet, and she immediately drops down to a sitting position with a giggle. Everyone laughs, and I pick her up, attempting again to set her on her feet while holding on to one of her hands.
She bounces a bit, babbles and waves at Lennon, and Lennon laughs.
“Come here, Evie,” Lennon says with a smile, reaching her hands out wide. “Come here, sweet girl. C’mon.”
Evie squeals happily, claps her hands, then falls back onto her butt.
