Page 22 of Destined for the Devil
I needed to get away from Isla as fast as possible, or I was going to ruin her. Logically, I understood that, but in my heart…I knew I wouldn't ever be able to let her go.
12
One Fucked Up Man
Isla
Ah,yes,everythinghadan explanation. Roman finally showed his true colors—I wasn't in his home simply because he wanted to help me out. No, he wanted more. But did he? Because our last interaction at the restaurant confused me through and through. He outright said he didn't want to fuck me, but that evening was complete chaos. He was playing some sort of game, clearly, but I couldn't figure it out.
Unlucky for me, I wasdesperateto be in his arms. Images of his body on mine infiltrated my mind with alarming frequency. He really was the opposite of my type, but dear Lord, everything about him shook my insides, overpowered my brain, and ignited my heart.
If he made a move, there was no way I would have refused it. I was so drawn to him; I wanted it. I wanted toeagerlyparticipate in it. What if I made a move? Mm, great idea, and then watch the teeny tiny stability I had crumble into nothing.
That sushi dinner washellaawkward, and we barely said two words to each other the rest of the night. I slumped into bed that evening, forcing myself to think of anything but him. Instead, I ruminated on my life circumstances and hoped for a better outcome.
And miraculously, things were looking up for me,finally! The interview was a success, and I landed the job—positively ecstatic about it! My start date was in two weeks, and right after getting the call about the job, I checked out a small one-bedroom apartment for rent. With myoffer of employment, I signed the lease and paid the deposit—I would take possession in the next two days.
With a pep in my step, I made it back to Roman’s apartment, eager to tell him the great news. But once inside, I looked around the place I’d been living in for the last little while, inhaled the smell, and immediately felt dejected. I was so torn. Yes, of course, the job and the apartment made me happy, but it also meant that I would have to leave Roman’s house.
I didn't want to say goodbye to him.
As always, Roman greeted me with a small smile when he arrived home. That same boyish, charming, genuine smile that made me melt inside just like the first time I saw it.
After that weird evening when we talked about our sexual partners, he turned distant and cold, and I wondered what on earth was going through his head. Why was he so strange about it? Even if he did want to sleep with me, why was the fact that I slept with one person so upsetting to him?!
"I have great news!" I announced with a slight shake in my voice, and he stopped a few feet away, his expectant eyes on me. "I got the job! And! I got an apartment!" I squealed out my happy news, both over the moon at my luck and thoroughly devastated. Ugh. The last few weeks of living with him were a dream I didn't want to wake up from.
He stayed silent and immobile, but then—
"Congratulations," he spat out with the most uninterested and uninvolved look I'd ever experienced in my life.
Wow. What the fuck was his problem? Shouldn't he have been happy for me? I had my whole place burn down, for crying out loud! He remained in one spot for a second longer and then, as if he wasdisappointed,shook his head and walked to his room. The door shut rather forcefully, and I was left in the living room with my mouth hanging open at his reaction.
I'm sorry, had he been expecting me to stay with him forever?! And they say women are the emotional ones! Fine, maybe whatever happened at that dinner changed his attitude toward me, butdamn,maybe a little acknowledgement was in order?
But I wasn’t going to dwell on it becausefuck that. After a moment of perplexity, I shut down my own indignation and pushed all my thoughts aside. Ignore, ignore,ignorethat reaction. I didn’t know him; I only stayed here because of his goodwill, and I was grateful, but it was time to move out.
Yes, it seemed I really had no idea who Roman was or what he did, although I had my guesses. He didn’t care about anyone, that I knew for sure. How could a person have sex withtwo hundred and fiftywomen? That number was astounding! That meant he never kept anyone around long enough to even find out how they took their morning coffee.
He didn’t care about me either. He took pity on me—a poor, young girl who lost everything twice over. All his questions about my past sexual life were his entertainment over dinner.
All the thoughts swirled inside me but mixed with hope that I was dead wrong. Iwantedhim to care. I wanted him to care aboutme.Jesus fuck, how could I have caught feelings for a stranger like that?
Mindlessly and deeply entrenched in my own troubles, I prepared dinner and mixed the salad, texting Roman to come eat. One thing I did know about him, though: he wouldn’t say no to my cooking.
Silently, he appeared in the kitchen without sparing me a glance and helped set the table, all his movements precise and careful. It dawned on me that we acted like some married couple who had an argument. That thought excited me to no end. Roman and I bound together by a marital union?
No.No, no, stop. Stop.It was time to move out.
The clinking of our cutlery was the only sound in the room, and bothof us chewed, lost in our own worlds, something that hadn’t happened even once since I accidentally arrived in his home. But then he put his fork down and raised his large blue eyes at me, his stare never failing to send my heart into marathon mode.
"Where are you moving to?" he asked coldly, sounding more annoyed than anything.
"I found a place today actually! It's a one-bedroom apartment, and I get the keys on the fifteenth of the month, so in two days," I responded with dampened enthusiasm, and he slowly nodded, sighing with unease.
"Why are you moving? You don't like it here?"
It took me a second to process his question. "Um, well, I can't live with you forever? What kind of a question is that? I had an apartment until it burned down, Roman. I don't actually live here." Was I trying to justify moving out of his place? How ridiculous!
