Page 63 of Destined for the Devil
I didn't even need to think about it. "No. I don't. If there was a God, there wouldn't be so much pain and suffering that was undeserved." My words were harsh and absolute, and I regretted bringing the topic up. Immediately, images of my parents' lifeless bodies floated to the top ofmy mind, dread coming over me.
Roman nodded slightly and then leaned in closer, slowly running his hands up my shins underwater. "I agree,” he murmured. "There’s a lot of pain and suffering in the world...that’s given to the most innocent ones."
It hit me that he too lost someone close to him to a very tragic fate. Someone who didn't deserve it. I was curious to know more.
"Do you ever see your dad?" I asked quietly, shamelessly probing deeper into who he was. Without hesitation, he shook his head to say no. It seemed that Roman crossed the ocean to see his aunts and hisbusiness connections,but not his father. "How come?" I asked more, hoping he wouldn't shut down my curiosity. He didn't, answering without hesitation.
"Because he left…when Natasha and I were very young. He abandoned my mom with an eight and a three-year-old. Here—in a completely foreign country. That’s worse than betrayal. I don't ever want to talk to him."
I tried to imagine what that must’ve been like for all of them—and then to lose his mother, too. He’d been through more than I realized. “Why did your family leave Russia?” I asked softly. There was so much I still didn’t know about him.
He leaned back against the edge of the tub, his voice low. “Because the nineties was a brutal time. The country was falling apart. My dad was an engineer, and he lost his job overnight. My mom was a professional pianist, and she was also left with nothing.” He furrowed his eyebrows and looked down at the water.
“There was rampant and open crime. Gang wars in the streets in broad daylight. Infrastructure collapsing. Government assets sold off for pennies. And then war in Chechnya, of course.” Roman’s eyes glazed over as he finished his morbid story. “So they came here for a better life, but…it all went to hell here too.”
Wow.
"I'm sorry, baby. That must’ve been such a hard childhood.” I shifted closer to him in the tub, careful as I maneuvered around his long limbs. I’d never called him baby before, but once I said it, I always wanted to call him that. He was, he wasmybaby.
The position was awkward, but I planted a soft kiss on his lips, one that he took eagerly. It dawned on me then how composed he always was. In control over everything at all times, but underneath all that…there was so much pain.
All the love and affection of the universe reflected in his beautiful eyes and warm smile. "Did you have a happy childhood?" he asked, his voice full of hope. His fingers trailed down my cheek, leaving drops of warm water on my skin.
"I did.” I nodded and sat back, all the memories of my past life bringing a small smile to my face. “I had a great childhood. I’m very grateful for the life that I had. My parents were in love, and our family was very close.”
A memory floated in—all of us singing happy birthday to my dad, who was beaming. His last birthday before my brother was diagnosed. “My mom was an accountant, and my dad owned a big construction and concrete company. But then, like a switch, one day everything just went to shit.”
Roman observed me, his gaze sharp and all of him serious like never before. After a long silence, he asked, apprehension and caution in his voice. "What was your dad's company's name?"
"Anders Concrete & Cement. He did big contracts for the state of New York." I swooshed the warm water, waiting for him to respond, but he was silent and still.
I lifted my gaze and…didn’t recognize him. He stared at me, eyes wide and jaw hanging open, as if terrified of what I’d just revealed. “What? Did you know him or something?” I threw it out there with a chuckle, not putting anything behind those words.
But Roman didn’t laugh. His breath hitched, pure fear flashing in his blue eyes, and it sent an awful shiver down my spine. Did he know my father?!
"Is your last name...Barrington?" he whispered.
Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe, his reaction settling dread and worry through all of me. “Yes.” I confirmed apprehensively, waiting to hear what bomb he was about to drop on me.
Roman was disoriented, like the ground shifted beneath his feet. He shook his head quickly, a silent plea in his eyes. "Fuck,” he drawled. “Fuck, how could this have happened? How did I not know?!"
Without warning, all of his six-foot-five frame shot up and he climbed out of the bathtub with impressive speed, sending waves of water onto the floor.
It was obvious now that he somehow knew my dad…and something must have happened between them.
"Roman, what? What is it?" I asked, my voice unsteady. But Roman said nothing, quickly wrapping a towel around his waist and bolting out of the bathroom, leaving a trail of water behind him.
I sat there in silence, stunned and slightly shaking, having no clue what just happened. Carefully, I climbed out of the bathtub, trying not to slip on the wet tile. With trembling hands, I wrapped a towel around myself and tiptoed out of the bathroom, feeling how sore my butt cheeks were.
I found him in the bedroom, half dressed and pulling a t-shirt onto his wet body.
"Roman..." I started, utterly lost for words.
"I have to check something. Please get dressed and come with me,” he instructed, still refusing to look at me. I stood for a few seconds longer but then did just as he asked, knowing that he would eventually have to reveal the answer to whatever made him react this way.
I put on the first piece of clothing I reached for in the closet, which turned out to be a short white dress with little red flowers, and joined Roman at the front door, who was already waiting for me, nervously chewing his lips.
In total silence, he drove us through the dark city, pulling up to a small commercial building.
