Page 58 of Owned By the Fae
She swallows hard, and I grin.
‘Gods, I’ve missed you,’ I murmur, drawing her close.
‘I’ve missed you too,’ she admits, and I hold her tightly, breathing in her scent and promising myself that I’m never going to be parted from her ever again, no matter what.
I finally pull away when I hear her stomach rumble and chuckle down at her.
‘Eat,’ I order, pushing her down into a chair at the table.
She begins to pile a plate full of meats, nuts, and greens.
I watch her eat contently, happy to see that despite Dane’s fears, she’s hungry and partaking in the food. Despite the healing, her body is clearly weakened from Varrik’s treatment of her, and she needs to regain her strength.
‘Tell me about the past weeks,’ I say when she seems to have finished her meal, wanting to get the list straight in my head of who I need to kill before we help the residents of the fold leave. Who among my fae brethren is most deserving of a slow death? Who can I just get rid of quickly for looking at her the wrong way?
She stares down at the table, her almost carefree demeanor changing quickly. Her expression clears, and her shoulders tense.
‘I don’t want to talk about those things,’ she whispers.
‘I know you don’t,’ I say, taking her arm in a gentle grip, ‘but I need to hear them.’
She shakes her head.
‘If you didn’t want to say the words … you could just remember.’
She looks up at me, her mouth opening slightly on a small intake of breath. ‘You can see my thoughts?’
‘Only the ones you let me see. I won’t pry,’ I promise.
She blinks. ‘How long have you been able to do that?’ she asks a little suspiciously.
‘It’s quite new.’
Lia sits back in the chair and surveys me for a moment. ‘All right.’
I’m surprised by her reaction despite my words. I didn’t think she’d so readily agree, and I realize that even after everything, she does still trust me.
I try not to gape at her, but for the first time in my life, I feel the need to be worthy of someone. I can’t let her down again.
‘Start from when you were taken by Varrik,’ I say softly. ‘Go through everything that’s happened. As quickly or as slowly as you like, but if you see it in your mind’s eye, I will as well.’
She nods, if a little more hesitantly now.
‘If you want me to stop, just say,’ I tell her, and she closes her eyes.
I do the same, and she begins.
It’s black at first, and then images begin to take shape, sharpening into focus quickly. The pictures are fast, slowing down then there’s talking. But mostly, it’s just quick slices of flashing memories that I rush to take in and remember. Grith. Fear and resignation. A beating. His laugh. His touch. Varrik in his hall. The dungeon. Pain in the darkness. Over and over. A hard floor. Seared flesh. Guards’ laughter. Their voices. Cold. Hunger. Thirst. The healer. Water. Relief. More pain and desolation. A black lake that’s skimmed over quickly as if she doesn’t really want me to see it.
More guards’ faces. Varrik. A small boy. Acute horror. This room. Cold. Hunger. Rikoth. Shame. Fear. A man in chains. Feeling free but also trapped. Killing. Elation followed by remorse and the crushing guilt I know she feels. Fear. Realization of being poisoned. Hurting Rikoth. Elation. Escape. Freezing water. Terror. A riverbank in the sun. Dizziness and distress. Our house. Dane. Blackness. This room with Dane. Cold. Hunger. Dane’s anger at the servants. Their words about the Harbinger. Then warmth. Desire.For Dane. Me appearing. Dane fucking her on the bed. Pain and pleasure rolled into one. Confusion and shame. Fear. The bath. Me. Contentment.
She takes me back to the moment when she killed using her Skill. She replays it slowly, showing me everything like she’s confessing what she’s done. I feel the remorse, but it isn’t from the ones she killed in Varrik’s office, it’s from all the times previously. Before I realize what she’s doing, she’s showing me those as well. Bodies hitting marble floors, grassy fields, cobbled streets, and muddy roads. Hundreds and hundreds of fae, orcs, goblins, and so many others. Dead.
I gasp a breath as I pull my mind away from hers. She’s breathing hard, and tears are falling down her cheeks, but she wipes them away and looks down at the table with a frown.
I slowly unclench my fists. The suffering my beautiful little human has borne is so much worse than I’d imagined. She’s endured torments that would have driven a fae mad.
I lunge for her, gathering her in my arms and holding her close. She lets me, and I don’t deserve it. I should have found my way to her sooner. At least I could have saved her from some of it.
