Page 12 of Petals of Blue: Part Two
A tear is jostled free when I shrug my shoulders. In a flash, Kevin sits beside me on my bed and tugs me into his side. He doesn't say anything—he doesn't have to.
Kevin isn't much of a talker. His protective warm presence speaks for itself. I'm not alone. Blue's friends will look out for me. Myfamilywill look out for me.
They may all be ten years older and be in completely different stages of life, but that just means I have real adults to look out for me. Because let's face it, I am definitely not ready to be an adult on my own.When does someone finally feel like an adult?
"Shit, Violet," Levi groans, dragging a hand through his hair. "Want to kick me in the balls? You can kick me." He pales and puts his hands up in surrender. "Maybe not the way Blue taught you, okay? Can you just do a girly kick?"
I giggle, which encourages Kevin to loosen his arm around my shoulders. "I'm not upset with you." Kevin flicks the back of my bicep, making me huff. "Okay, what you did out there was uncalled for."
"Jared punched me in the face, Violet."
I roll my eyes and wipe my cheeks. "You know you started it. Don't start with theboo mestuff."
Levi opens his mouth, but Kevin stops him with a glare. "She's right. Don't apologize, and turn right around to defend yourself. Blue's missing, Levi. We don't need more problems right now."
Superbly admonished for his final round of childishness, Levi's face crumples in pain. He curses and scrubs at his face, making me think he's hiding more emotion than he's letting on.
Feeling uncomfortable with so many feelings, I tease, "I may have run from your dick sizing competition, but I was applauding Jared's right hook."
Kevin snorts and nudges me. "Same."
Our sad attempt at humor makes my tummy swirl with ickiness. I shouldn't even be smiling if Blue isn't here.Mom.
How can I make jokes at a time like this? Guilt eats at me, almost urging me to throw up my recent sad attempt at eating.
I don't deserve to laugh. Smiling should be banned until Mom's home.She will come home. She has to.
We have a trip planned to the Rocky Mountains next year. I already got her new hiking shoes for Christmas. They haven't shipped yet; that's how high-quality they are. Blue deserves everything good, yet somehow there's a possibility she may never have anything ever again.
Where is she?I'm sitting comfortably in my bedroom.
Is she cold?Cozy and warm, I watch snow leisurely fall outside my window.
Has she eaten?Beth, Janine, and Dakota brought us a whole restaurant's worth of prepared meals.
Is she safe?I have Levi, Kevin, Jared, Felix, Roman, and Declan near me, ready to defend me at all costs.
Does she have water?I had a Sprite with lunch.
Oh God, does Ma have a place to go to the bathroom?We have two private bathrooms here.
But...what if a toilet is the least of her worries?
"Do you—" I swallow, trying to force the words out. "Do you think she's—" I can't say it.
"Violet—"
"No!" I snap, jumping from the bed to pace while frantically searching the streets below the apartment. "What if she never comes home? What if-if-she's?—"
Kevin growls something fierce, sending chills down my spine. "Enough! Blue motherfucking Bennett is a survivor. Your ma would crawl through the pits of hell to come back to you. Don't youdaregive up on her, Violet."
It's not me Kevin should be worried about giving up, though. I know the woman who raised me, and if she thought for one second that she could bring something back with her that would affect me, she would never do it.
I'll just have to scream and throw my pleas into the void and hope she hears me.Don't give up, Mom!
Nine
BLUE
