Page 30 of Petals of Blue: Part Two
"Goldfish?" Levi wonders out loud.
I've come to realize this morning, after searching two gardens with Levi, that he's fine. Do I like the fact that he's touched my woman? Fuck no, but he's a decent man.
If I were in his position, I would also have questions about Declan’s intense reaction so I answer. "Goldfish crackers are the only thing he can usually stomach after throwing up."
Kevin looks a little baffled, but avoids looking at Declan behind the dying bush. "So this is a common occurrence?" the buff guy asks.
I shrug as Declan and Felix start making their way toward us. "Kind of. We're used to it, but don't make it a big deal. He fuckin' hates throwing up."
"Poor guy," Levi murmurs and starts tapping away on his phone. "Did something happen with Violet?"
"What, why?" Felix's face turns thunderous as they reach our little group. Roman joins again as well.
Levi frowns down at his phone and barely offers Felix a glance. "She seems quieter today. Just worried about her ma?"
Declan looks green but takes Roman's offering of water and goldfish. I'm not sure what to say, so I stay silent and wait for one of the others to take the lead. That's a huge benefit of being so close to three other people. Usually, one of us can take control of a situation.
Felix is usually the one to do it, and right now isn'tany different. "She heard some stuff last night about Blue's past that threw her off. Pretty sure Violet has a lot to think about, and being stuck with Clara and Derrick isn't distracting."
"Especially since she's using one of Derrick's old phones thatflips," I add, trying to lighten the mood because it doesn't seem as though Declan is up to the task right now.
"No social media, right?" Kevin crosses his arms and glances over Levi's shoulder at his husband's phone.
"None." Roman shakes his head. "Pretty sure that old device can't do much more than text, call, and have an old version of poker."
"Good," Kevin replies and kisses the side of Levi's head. "Let's get a move on. Violet needs her mama more than she needs us, so let's go find her."
Felix takes over the conversation with another reminder of our plan. "Alright, we have two more that we have high hopes about. I'd like to get them both combed through by nightfall. After the sun goes down, it's hard to see shit even with our big lantern lights."
I definitely agree. If we don't find Blue at these next ones, I might suggest two of us go back to the ones we did past sunset last night. There's a possibility that we missed something under the cover of darkness, and that worries me. We've talked about the possibility, so I know I'm not the only one keeping it in the back of my mind.
But, fucking hell, there's that fear that if we go back to search the previous places, then we'll be wasting time checking new ones. So many what-ifs make me want topuke with Declan. I hate throwing up more than he does—I bet I haven't hurled since college.
No puking. If I'm not throwing tantrums and slowing us down by picking meaningless fights, then I'm not stopping to toss up my breakfast. No, I don't blame Declan because that's just his reaction to stress.
Kind of like Blue startles at random touch.
Pinching the bridge of my nose in an attempt to stop the downward spiral of my thoughts, I follow Roman's broad back to the parking lot. When in doubt, just follow the leader. It's a good fucking thing I trust my family.
Blue is family, too. I have to hold on to my trust in her. If I've learned anything about her these past few months, it's that she's amother. She wouldn't leave Violet to grow up without her mama.
I'm going to put my trust in the bond Blue has with her kid. There's a connection there that's palpable to anyone near them. Blue loves Violet with every ounce of care she possesses. No way would Blue subject Violet to the sorrow she would suffer if Blue left this world.
The sheer amount of disappointment and desperation inside of me has been building all day. After hours and hours of being beaten down by bad news, I've grown too weak to hold my sorrow inside.
"FUCK!" Declan's soothing cadence sounds muffledbehind the torment in my mind. "Everything is fucked!" I shout, allowing some of my thoughts to slip through.
More noise, but it doesn't matter because we still haven't found Blue. How, after everything she has been through, all that we've left her to deal with on her own, has she been fucking kidnapped?
Shouldn't there be a limit on how much life shits on you? Especially for such a beautiful soul. Why couldn't one of us have had an abusive aunt or been taken?
Surely, we deserve the pain Blue has suffered. She sure as fuck doesn't. Never has.
Not even when we found out she stole some bread and lunch meat from the gas station in high school. We knew shit was bad at Linda's, but not to the point Blue needed to steal in order to eat.
Christ, why didn't we ask more questions? We believed her when she said it was a dare, and she thought it would be fun. Except, the four of us would never fucking dare her to do something so risky.
I'm glad she wasn't caught, but she lied to us. She must have because she didn't hang out with anyone besides us. Well, that's not true, but still, that was out of character and dangerous. She's lucky it was Declan and me who caught her and not Felix.
