Page 60 of Petals of Blue: Part Two
"Hey, Felix." Declan reaches for Felix, who tries to brush him off, but my little brother is having none of it. "Don't fucking do that. Sit down and stop being an ass."
Yeah.
"Don't look smug," Dec accuses me with a glare. "You might be right that we need to talk about everything, but you started it poorly."
Who made my little brother all smart and?—
Jared sits up and fiddles with his hands while staring at the floor. "I think we need to ask Blue how she's doing."
"What? We always ask her that," Felix defends.
Jared shakes his head. "No, not really. We ask situationally if she's okay. I'm talking about her brain. Her feelings. She's not giving us much beyond just hanging out with us and cuddling."
Felix opens his mouth, but Declan beats him and says, "What if she gets upset? Or makes us leave?"
I've thought about that, and it's the main reason I've avoided this topic for as long as I have. Some of her fire and independence is coming back, so it's possible she'll push back really damn hard if we try getting closer to her.
Felix stuns me by jumping in and being agreeable, but what he suggests doesn't surprise me. "Even if she pushes us away, we're not fucking going anywhere. She can fight all she wants, but we're here to stay. I've already bent more than I'm comfortable with when it comes to us leaving at night."
My mouth curls up in a grateful smile. This is why we need to figure it out together. We each have our own strengths, and Felix's is being an overbearing alphahole.
"So," Jared starts, looking around at all of us, "we'll let her talk tomorrow?"
Felix stiffens. I glare at him and answer Jared beforeFelix can. "Yes. We won't be shushing her any longer unless it's obvious she's overdoing it. She's healing great."
I can practically feel my best friend struggling with this plan, but he stays silent and nods. We've held back because of her physical health. Now I fear we're neglecting her mental and emotional health.
"Since we all agree on that," I begin and sit on the far side of the couch now too. "How are you guys doing?"
Felix frowns and leans back as if to get away from this next part. Declan shifts uncomfortably, and Jared raises his hand as if to ask for permission to speak.
I laugh and look at Felix, waiting for him to say something. "What?" Felix growls.
"Do I have permission to speak, or might you give me a kiss if I open my mouth?" Jared teases, offering levity to the situation.
"Fuck off."
I laugh at Felix's response along with Jared and Declan. Jared actually sobers first and answers my initial question. "I'm alright, but I would feel better if she would let us sleep over or we could bring her here. I was thinking we should get the primary suite set up for her to move in to when she's ready."
I raise a brow thinking to myself about how that sounds really damn hopeful. "Let's do it," my brother and I say at the same time. Felix nods, agreeing silently. That's okay. These kinds of talks are hard for him.
"My anxiety has been pretty bad," Declan mumbles. "I reached out to Levi, and he sent me in the right directionto get a therapist. I'm just not sure how to calm my thoughts sometimes."
Shit, I should have been paying more attention to him."Have you?—"
"No. I haven't had the urge to drink since we found Blue. I'm worried it could get to that point, so I'm trying to be proactive."
"Good," I praise. "Can you send me the information for the office you're setting up with?"
Declan studies me for a long moment. "Yeah, I can. How are you doing?"
I sigh. They all know I've struggled heavily with depression in the past. Since then, it's just kind of lingered around me all my life. "I'm having a really hard time sleeping. Sometimes my memory is pretty vivid, and I swear I can hear the gun going off again."
Felix curses and sits forward, looking me right in the eye. "I'm sorry, man. I should have thought to check on you."
"I think the same could be said for all of us, Felix. It's alright." I really don't want him to carry the guilt of not checking on me because I've been a shit friend too and haven't asked them until now either.
Felix rubs a hand down his face. "I just don't know what to do. How to help. Maybe I got a little too focused on making sure she didn't hurt her throat, but it was a clear instruction from my uncle that she shouldn't use her voice too much for the first four days."
